I think that the diet industry actually tries to subtly sell us immortality. So much of our thin obsession – dieting repeatedly despite horrible odds, stomach amputation and banding is done under the guise of health. But I think that in many cases it might be more honest to say that it’s done because of a fear of death. We’re sold this idea that being thin will ensure a long life, that a long life is the most important thing, and that the diet industry is our ticket to it. So much of my hatemail says something about the fact that I’m going to die, as if the person writing the comment isn’t.
We know it’s not true nothing will ensure immortality or even a long life- people of every size die young and people of every size live to old age. There are no guarantees in life except that I’m going to die eventually and I don’t know when.
A lot of what I like about the Health at Every Size concept is that it supports my desire to have the best life possible between now and then. I spent a lot of my life being obsessed with being thin. Counting Calories in and calories out and just waiting for weigh-in day to see if I was “healthy” and “successful”. It turns out that whether I had lost or gained weight I was neither – obsession with thinness was ruining my mental health and that wasn’t working out at all. Now I roll healthy habits into my life and I can use all that brain power that I used to spend obsessing about being thin, counting calories, to do things that I love. Of course that’s just my experience, your mileage may vary.
I no longer believe that the diet industry will do anything except make money for themselves. Immortality would be nice, so would invisibility and having the super-suit from Greatest American Hero (although preferably with the instruction manual), but since none of those are really likely to work out, I’m focusing on the living the happiest possible life between now and then which includes physical health, mental health, spending zero physical or mental energy on being thin, and spending lots of physical and mental energy on things that I love.
This blog is supported by its readers rather than corporate ads. If you feel that you get value out of the blog, can afford it, and want to support my work and activism, please consider a paid subscription or a one-time contribution. The regular e-mail subscription (available at the top right hand side of this page) is still completely free. Thanks for reading! ~Ragen
If the diets they peddled actually worked, the diet industry would go bankrupt.
i think they also try and sell us ‘happiness’. if you are thin, all your problems will go away, you will be popular, get a job/promotion, have lots of money, a nice home and car, go on paradise-like holidays, etc etc etc etc… reality is you will just have lost weight and be same person, same problems.
Being thin can be deadly too. In fact anorexia kills the most people of any psychiatric illness.
Amen to the quality of life thing.
Now, I eat the healthy food I like because I like it, and I also eat unhealthy food guilt-free from time to time. I do the exercise I like because it’s fun, and because I like being strong and physically capable (which, come to think of it, is pretty ableist, so I should work on that, but y’know, baby steps). And yeah, eating the foods I like and doing the exercise I love makes my weight hang out about 20 pounds heavier than my dieting weight (a.k.a. my keeping my intake right at the “technically not anorexic” line)…and a good 45 pounds heavier than my anorexic low, but I am SO MUCH HAPPIER. This is the way to live.
I don’t think enjoying your body’s capabilities or building them is ableist. I think it would be ableist if you judged others that couldn’t.
When I got it into my head that Big Med and Big Pharma had lied to me about dieting all these years, that dieting would make us happy, healthy and immortal, I then started to wonder: What else are they lying about?
The answer is: almost everything. The studies they use to justify any kind of health regimen or drugs are usually incredibly poorly designed and all but worthless.
As we all know now, dieting is the big lie. Being easy in one’s skin and body and learning to be happy and live happy in it is the truth. A truth after so many years..feels so good.
I’m a ugly, fat girl in her 40s. I’m about as close to achieving invisibility as one can on this planet.
Hi Rebecca,
I’m so sorry that you are feeling that way. If there is anything that I can do to support you please just let me know.
~Ragen
Rebecca, how can I help build you up? I’m a fat chick in my 40s as well, but I am learning that “ugly” or “beauty” are what’s inside, not what’s on my skin. You are a beautiful woman just as you are and no one EVER should make you feel less than. Come friend me on facebook and let’s talk. Find me at facebook.com/deskdiva.
Rebecca~ I’m also fat and in my 40s and single and live alone with my cat in a studio apt. Some days that makes me feel totally pathetic and invisible and alone. I also feel ugly some days, but in general don’t really think I am. I bet you’re not, either. I would like to give you a big hug and then we should go out dancing =)
While I wouldn’t call my husband a spokesman for HAES, your point about the diet and “healthcare” industries selling fear of death is one that he is particularly interested in. I’m more interested in living a full life myself. Another outstanding post.
Thanks Jayne! I’m glad that we have people coming at this stuff from all kinds of directions
~Ragen
I ♥ you so much for mentioning the super suit’s instruction manual.
(I’d comment on the rest, but I’m getting over a sinus infection that settled in my chest instead, and about the only things I feel like putting any effort into are knitting, WoW, and sleep.)
I am now sitting here singing “The Greatest American Hero” to myself and loving it.
Oh, how I miss that show. 
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9Q3orQhEcA&w=420&h=315
Well, that didn’t work. Can someone tell me how to embed the video here?
This reminds me of my favorite quote from Tuck Everlasting.
“Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever, you just have to live.”
I think for me this post is the heart of the matter. This is why I find the ideas of size/fat acceptance and health at every size so important. I make myself emotionally unwell if I try to travel down the path that society suggests we should.
YUP! Never quite understood that about the pharmaceuticals – take this, be healthy, live longer – and then you have people who bemoan that we’re all living too long and we’re over-populating the world. But let’s just make life miserable for anyone who isn’t attempting to live longer or actually enjoying life.
Reminds me of this. http://failblog.org/2009/12/14/eco-board-game-trivia-fail/
Actually, the more I think about it, the more I think that immortality would actually kind of suck, just a little bit. Then again, I can’t afford, financially or mentally, what the diet industry’s selling, so I can’t buy it, nor do I even want to.
I was talking to someone yesterday who mentioned he had seen a t-shirt that said:
Spoiler alert – you, and everyone you care for, will die.
I think that says it all really.
You are absolutely right on the brain power being available for other issues when you stop obsessing over food!
I just realised (in one of those lightbulb-over-my-head-moments) that the moment I became involved with FA and HAES and really stopped worrying about my body and my weight, I started to become involved in activism of all sorts: feminism, politics, environment…because I suddenly had brain power left for all of these things.
I stopped to care about my body and started caring about the world.
I wonder whether that happened to other people as well? And: Imagine what the world would be like if everyone suddenly stopped obsessing about their weight and got involved in activism of some kind or other…woah. Boggles the mind, methinks.
It’s funny, in San Diego a few years ago, I had come to the same conclusion about the culture as you have. Being thin will save you from heart disease, stroke, and cancer. It even got so bad that a female relative once told me, I will live longer than you even if you lose weight, because you have been fat and I have not. All the effort made by the medical establishment to figure out why people die. Well, something has to kill them! I think you’re right; a lot of people think immortality is possible.