A few days ago I received what was, to me, one of the most disturbing comments I’ve ever received.
“It is inconsiderate to inconvenience others due to our size. Please, lets not go too far demanding equality.”
This person has the right to think this and act accordingly, and I have certainly heard others refer to fat people as an inconvenience. It will probably not comes as a shock to you that I could not disagree more.
If someone feels inconvenienced because another person achieves equality, then that person was most likely benefiting from the inequality. It does not follow that the person who was unequal should say “Sorry dude, my bad. I’ll just go back to a life of oppression- nothing is more important than your convenience.”
Think back to other civil rights movements. How would the world be different if those groups had said “Equal rights now, I mean, as long as nobody is inconvenienced in any way” You’re going to have a hard time fitting that on a protest sign.
Or try chanting this: “What do we want? Equality! When do we want it? Only when it doesn’t inconvenience anyone!” It just doesn’t have that ring to it, you know?
I’m fighting for my equal rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness (which I am certain includes things like the right to exist in my body without my government waging war on me for how I look) and if someone has the audacity to call that “inconsiderate” then so be it. And if people don’t want to give up the “conveniences” that are the end result of the stigma and oppression that are heaped upon me and those who look like me, then they are going to have to learn to live with disappointment because that’s just too damn bad.
Check Out My New Book. The E-Book is “Name Your Own Price”!
I wanted everyone to be able to afford Fat: The Owner’s Manual – Surviving a Thin-Obsessed World with your Health, Happiness, and Sense of Humor Intact so it is now available in soft cover and e-book which is “name your own price”
Become a Member, Support The Work!
This month’s member deals come from More of Me to Love, Jodee Rose, The Fat Nutritionist, Golda Poretsky, Jeanette DePatie and of course me. If you are a member and haven’t received the e-mail with details and passwords just let me know!
I do HAES and SA activism, speaking and writing full time, and I don’t believe in putting corporate ads on my blog and making my readers a commodity. So if you find value in my work, want to support it, and you can afford it, you can become a member (you get extra stuff, discounts, and you’re always the first to know about things) or you can support my work with a one-time contribution. The regular e-mail blog subscription (available at the top right hand side of this page) is still completely free. If you’re curious about this policy, you might want to check out this post. Thanks for reading! ~Ragen
Self-loathing it makes me nuts…and actually im not sure,im going to support someone’s right to do it…..but then im a big fat B.
Putting it into perspective, you’re not asking to be treated as anything other than equal (whatever ‘equal’ means anymore, as it seems so many want to be seen as Special Little Snowflakes these days!). You’re not going into every restaurant and saying, “My rights are being violated because these chairs are too small and discriminate against fat people!” or “I get to do this or that and you don’t because I’m fat, so NYAH!”
I really don’t get that response. Usually I can understand where someone is coming from, even if I find it so incredibly offensive or ridiculous it makes my stomach twist up.
On the other hand, would you want to be equal to a person who utters statements like that? I certainly wouldn’t. It would be a few hundred steps down for me.
What other “equality” do you see people asking for, out of curiosity? Could you expand on that?
“If someone feels inconvenienced because another person achieves equality, then that person was most likely benefiting from the inequality.”
Thank you so much for these words.
You know what? I’ve seen this exact attitude from every oppressed group whose members have fought for equality my entire life.
There was the segment of the African American population who didn’t want anyone to fight too hard for their rights, because it might make white people mad.
In the sixties and seventies when the first major wave of feminism was in full swing, there were women who made national careers out of telling the rest of us that we should become too equal.
I’ve heard a couple (not many, but some) gay/lesbian/bi people talk about not wanting ‘special’ rights… like to hold jobs and have the option to marry their partners.
Whatever the battle for equality, there are always people who are sure that rocking the boat is a bad, bad idea.
Me? I’m a boat rocker from way back. I want the playing field leveled. It’s a better game for everyone when the rules are fair.
Typing before caffeinating bad.
The bit about women making careers out of telling the rest of us we should become to equal, should read ‘telling the rest of us we SHOULDN’T become too equal.’
Back to my regularly scheduled coffee.
Second wave feminism. First wave was the suffragists.
Lots of things are “inconvenient.” Clean air is inconvenient to the folks polluting it, but very beneficial to folks with lung disease, growing children, and people who want to exercise outside. Curb cuts are/were inconvenient to sidewalk builders when they first came out, but they sure are nice for people using wheelchairs–or walkers, or strollers, or using a furniture dolly, etc, etc, etc. And once they’re in place, no inconvenience at all!
“It is inconsiderate to inconvenience others due to our size. Please, lets not go too far demanding equality.”
WOW. I really feel pain for the person who feels this way. This is not merely an issue of size-ism run amok, but of someone who feels that as a human being he or she hasn’t the right to exist as himself in the world. That saddens me so much. This person needs to find a good, qualified therapist because this is a case of nonexistent self worth rather than body image, in my opinion. It’s FAR deeper rooted.
“It is inconsiderate to inconvenience others due to our size. Please, lets not go too far demanding equality.”
Also, to “not go too far demanding equality,” to me means NOT demanding equality at all. If it’s not equal, it’s simply … NOT EQUAL. The illogic is mind-boggling.
I see a kind of parallel here with the accomodations/access that students with “special needs” like myself get for our education and/or job- not that i’m trying to imply that obesity is a disability. I tend to agree with Size Acceptance because, among other reasons, it connects to what i believe as a person who sometimes needs special accomodations for exams, etc. We all have a right to exist, in our current/natural bodies (and neurology, in my case), in public, in the same spheres as non-disabled/nonfat/neurotypical individuals. The price they pay for our access/presence is annoyance (i flap my hands when i stim; not hard, but i’ve definitely tapped people accidentally who were next to me on a bus or in a crowd), but the price we pay for not having access is much higher, especially in the long run.
A world that followed Size Acceptance beliefs would just be soooo inconvenient to *everyone* though! It would be horrible if aeroplanes and buses and trains were comfortable for everyone, and everybody was able to buy clothes that they liked and could afford that fit them well, and no-one was ever body shamed for being too fat or too skinny or too muscular or too whatever, and it would be terrible if people could go to their doctor and be treated for the actual health problem they had rather than be told to get thin if they’re fat or assumed to be healthy if they’re thin, and eat what they wanted when they wanted without worrying about calories or fat or carbs, and move in ways that feel good without being verbally abused by passers by. Just unthinkable…
“It is inconsiderate to inconvenience others due to our size.”
I actually agree with this. Thin people have been known to inconvenience me due to their size, For example, if things were built for me, they could often accommodate thin people with a few inches to spare, but it doesn’t work the other way around. I’m glad that someone recognizes that we can be inconvenienced by the thin, but I doubt thin people are going too far in their demand for equality; I don’t see such a demand.