Anonymous Coward Bullies Children On Halloween

The jerk whispererI woke up to over 500 readers who let me know about a woman in North Dakota who has taken it upon herself to visually identify children as “moderately obese” and, instead of the candy she is giving to other children, giving them letters to their parents stating, in part,

Your child is, in my opinion, moderately obese and should not be consuming sugar and treats to the extent of some children this Halloween season.

My hope is that you will step up as a parent and ration candy this Halloween and not allow your child to continue these unhealthy eating habits.

So first it can’t be said early or often enough that tactics like this don’t make kids thinner or healthier (two separate things).  Let’s remember that we don’t know how to make fat kids thin, and the untested “interventions” that have been launched  actually are now being shown to lead to eating disorders but not to thinner, or healthier, kids. 

One wonders how she can determine body weight with all that costume attached (and, it’s freaking cold in North Dakota so many of the children will wear costumes over many layers of clothing, including (at least when I was a kid living in Montana) snow pants and parkas.

My heart is ripping open and crying for the kids who will have their Halloween ruined by this – especially since I’m concerned that other adult bullies will choose to follow in her footsteps.

One wonders why she used the term “moderately obese” and what that means to her.  Do kids who are, in her completely unqualified opinion, severely obese get candy?  Or does she just shoot them to put them out of her misery?

If she wants to talk to parents, why doesn’t she actually do that?  Follow the fat ones home to give the letter to their parents, chase after the school bus and at least try to be a respectable busybody, judgmental, bully.

Since she – as an amateur doctor, nutritionist, child psychologist, parenting expert and psychic with the ability to diagnose health issues, and know kids eating behaviors by looking at them in a costume for 10 seconds at her doorstep – is such an expert on health, why not dole out snacks that she thinks are healthy for all kids? Isn’t she afraid that the candy that she hands out to kids who she does not deem “moderately obese” might *gasp* make them fat and thus deserving of her fat bullying letter next year.

For those (like one cardiologist interviewed about this  [trigger warning for unsubstantiated obesity panic, and incompetent doctor being quoted]) who say that giving a fat kid candy is like giving heroin to a heroin addict – what the hell is wrong with you?  A fat body size does not constitute an addiction at all, nor a specific candy addiction, and If you think that candy and heroin are comparable then you probably shouldn’t be allowed to be a doctor anymore.  This line of argument is completely ridiculous.

Also, why be anonymous?  If you are proud of your actions, then stand behind them with your name.  She’ll know that I stand behind what I’ve said here because I put my name on it, despite hate mail and death threats.  She’s so interested in children experiencing what she believes are the consequences of their actions, she should experience the consequences of hers.

Fat kids aren’t in need of  “tough love” and even if they were, this isn’t it.  When we make assumptions about people because of the way that they look, that’s not “love” it’s bigotry.  When we treat one group worse than another because of the way that they look, that’s not “love” (tough or otherwise), it’s bullying.  Fat kids don’t need bigotry and bullying from strangers making guesses about their health and eating habits on any day, let alone a holiday they’ve probably been excited about for months.

If you are a fat kid reading this, I’m truly sorry that there bullying jerks in the world.  I wrote you a letter here if you are interested.

EDIT:  There are several people saying that this is a hoax.  If so, it’s a good hoax that’s been reported in most major media outlets.  That said, if it is a hoax I’m happy, but still concerned that others will read about it and think that it’s a good idea  – so even if it’s a hoax, I’ll let this post stand as a message to any of those folks.

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Published in: on October 30, 2013 at 7:52 pm  Comments (87)  

87 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Words fail me sometimes. I’d like to come up with an insightful, or even funny, response to what you just wrote. But I can’t. What a self righteous bitch.

    • I would so love to put a sign in this woman’s yard that says ” I drown kittens!”….or start a rumor that she’s harboring a sexual predator so that no one goes to her house to trick or treat. Then she would have to eat all the candy herself and get a horrible stomach ache.

  2. Someone needs to identify this bitch, so she can be held accountable for her actions and the harm they will cause.

    • I’m with you, coach anne!!

    • Oh, I’m betting her name will be known far and wide after she hands the first kid a letter….

      • Let’s hope so!

  3. I was so very annoyed this AM. *trigger warnings!*

    I watch the news for 10-20 minutes in the AM to hear the most updated weather report and a traffic report. I do this while performing functions like feeding the animals, making coffee and breakfast… I do not always have the remote within reach to mute or pause the programing.

    While my remote was out of reach I got this horrid news story–which thankfully my news network did not tout as a good idea. I also had the pleasure of watching a commercial for bariatric surgery and some government funded study that purported to link obesity to some disease that I have since blocked from my mind. Might have been all the “La la la la, I don’t wanna hear it!” I was yelling at the TV at the time.

    I just want to hear the updated weather report and find out if my commute is going to be pretty much normal or absolutely hellish. Why must I be bombarded with these messages to hate myself?

    I feel that that lady in North Dakota is a self riteous jackwagon.

  4. I am so glad you wrote about this. I have been steaming all frickin day long! I cannot believe that someone would do something like this to a CHILD!!!!! Who the hell does she think she is? And, of course, I being one of those people who read the damn comments – there are actually people agreeing with her. What the hell? Are these people human? How can you look into the eyes of a happy, excited child out there trick or treating with his/her friends and family and give them a note about how fat they are? You’ve got to be some kind of evil bitch to dole out that kind of hate. Thank you, Ragen, I feel a tad better now!

  5. I wonder how many death threats have come into the media for this woman so far. Seriously, the first little girl in a pink princess costume that cries because she got “the letter” and her big, angry, daddy responds, it’s going to get ugly! She’s putting her own physical wellbeing in danger doing this crap. Is this the new “razor blade in the banana?” Monsters are supposed to be fake on Halloween, but what this woman, and all of the jerks who follow suit, is doing is truly monsterous indeed.

    • Death threats are not the correct way to respond to this hateful bitch. Seriously.

  6. I saw this on another blog earlier today and was waiting for yours to hit my inbox!!

  7. I note that the letter mentions the phrase “It takes a village to raise a child”. The author uses it to “justify” the nasty-gram.

    Every village has a Village Idiot.

    • Perfect! I needed a smile after reading about this coward.

  8. Boy, oh, boy. I’d love for this bitch to give my kid a letter like this!
    I just don’t really even have words for my anger over this. I am stunned more every day by how many people have lost their humanity, and every time I think it can’t get any worse, some nutjob like this lady comes along to show me that it can.
    How could ANYONE do this to a little innocent child? What is wrong with someone who would be so mean? What the hell happened to them in their life that they go around picking no KIDS?? And then to be such a coward that she can’t even show her face!
    I knew there’d be a bunch of assclowns who agree with her. This is what society has become.
    Fat people are the scapegoats for everything.
    I sure thought people would be better than to pick on a little kid on a fun holiday, though.
    When I think back to the joy Halloween brought me, and how excited my almost 3 year old son is to go trick-or-treating, it just makes me profoundly sad to think some little girl or boy might have this joy robbed from them by a real live monster like this woman.

  9. I cannot believe how cruel she is to the kids whom she deems normal — a la: I don’t care about you, here, eat some crap that I wouldn’t feed to someone I do care about! Lose lose ….. lose situation.

  10. I’m not convinced this is legitimate. The station in question is known for morning show antics, and through a friend in the industry, I know that talk radio deliberately manufactures controversy to stir up listeners.

    • Had the same thoughts.

      • All of the news stations picked it up and the internet, of course. The news had the unidentified woman herself speaking on the news last night. However, this does not mean it’s legitimate.

        When I was a fat child (MANY years ago), there were a lot of cruel adults out there. I was persecuted by them and my peers alike. I am talking about strangers – not just family members. My life was a nightmare.

        My spider senses are also tingling about this Obamacare situation. We fatties are going to be dealt some serious blows with this thing. I can feel it coming. More and more people are going to start blaming us for costs – especially since the costs are way higher than our traditional insurance plans. It’s going to get ugly out there. We’re the obvious targets, since you can see our apparent “problem.”

  11. Reminds me of a certain therapist I used to know who offered snacks to normal-sized little patients (most of whom were from poor families & likely to be hungry at any time of day, but especially on the mornings they were missing their free breakfasts & lunches at school to come to therapy) but not to the fat kids. And the snacks she offered were the worst kind of junk food: I always wondered, if you’re concerned about kids’ health, why not all the kids — which would mean you’d offer healthy snacks, right?

    I think that’s probably the longest parenthetical expression I’ve ever written. Hope you all liked it.

  12. This is probably my inner child speaking, but I really hope one of those kids punches that woman in the crotch.

  13. If this crazy, sociopathic monster really thinks that bullying kids is a positive way to spend her Halloween, I’d like to suggest that she just turn off the lights and not answer the door instead. That way, she wouldn’t be “enabling” the existing fat kids OR creating new ones.

    Well, that’s not entirely true. In point of fact, I’d like to suggest a lot of other things to her, but they since they all involve violence and/or a variety of anatomically improbable acts, I won’t.

  14. After reading about this, I just had to have a piece of candy. Num, num. Dark choclate with pumpkin seeds and sea salt. Happy Halloween to me! And, yes, I remember bundling up for trick or treating in northern Minnesota. I had a great clown costume that accomodated a complete snow suit. It often snowed on Halloween. Cheers to the kids who fight the elements to participate. They ought to get tasty treats.

    • That sounds scrumptious! I want some!!!!

  15. Even if it is a hoax it highlights the anti-fat sentiments many hold in this fat phobic society. It only mirrors the government strategy to hold fat kids up for public scrutiny and norming.

    Such behaviors are getting more ugly by the day as more and more individuals internalize and parrot back the government line. Hopefully. as the general public finally notices what such anti-fat rhetoric is doing to people, things may start to even out at last.

  16. One thing I will say – I was heartened by the way the story was handled on the news website I saw it reported on. They…

    Got a quote from a doctor who raised concerns for the pressures on kids, rises in ED amongst children and pointed out – in the conclusion to the article – that weight and diet are not necessarily correlated.

    Got quotes from local parents who were all unanimous in their feeling that the idea is bullying, is unfair and is wrong.

    Had a commentary running at the bottom that – at least when I looked at it – was entirely composed of comments saying it was wrong, that it was bullying and discriminatory, and that the woman in question had no business doing this to children.

    Hoax or not, that made my day.

  17. Fuck this noise.

    On Halloween, my job is to hand out candy and oooh and aaaah over the adorable/awesome/terrifying costumes. That’s it.

    It’s the parents’ job to ration/restrict candy, not mine. I’m not their Mommy, and it’s none of my goddamn business.

    • The only exception is if the parent makes arrangements ahead of time, like that awesome parent a couple of years ago who sent out toys for people to give to his diabetic kid. That won serious dad points.

      • Well, yeah. Obviously in that situation, the parent is parenting!

        It’s not my job to parent other peoples’ kids. I mean, should I be telling them to open their mouths so I can check for fillings in their teeth before I decide whether or not they get candy? Should I ask them all to let me prick their fingers for a blood sugar test? It’s not my job to parent other peoples’ kids, and unless the parent says, “Hey, s/he can’t have that because of X,”, I’m going to go ahead and give them candy!

  18. If I was out trick-or-treating with children and I saw a house giving out such letters, I’d arrange for another adult to finish the rounds and I’d sit at the end of this person’s driveway on the sidewalk directing people to walk by this house without stopping.

    • I wouldn’t be shocked if a few cartons of eggs and some rolls of TP mysteriously appeared within easy reach of her house.

  19. If this is true, it’s just bloody evil.

  20. Raisins were my most favorite Halloween treat to be honest! :)

    • You’ve reminded me it’s time to get to work on fruitcake. Should I make an English, a German, or one of my oddly Levantine ones with rose water and honey instead of sugar this year?

      Note to self, buy gallon of honey.

      • I come from a Germanic heritage so I’d be biased that way, but the Levantine one sounds pretty awesome. :) And you reminded me of my yearly promise that I’ll eventually, one day, make my husband a fruitcake from scratch for him. Alas, still no rum.

        • I’m mostly Germanic, too–American Mutt of German, Scots-Irish, Dutch, French, English, Cherokee or Choctaw, and possibly African-American–and I have to admit a strong fondness for German fruitcakes, though I usually make Medieval-style ones with dried fruit (apart from crystallized ginger) and raw nuts. This year, I want to do something different, though.

          I think I’ve got the ingredients for a Levantine one on hand right now, which means no need to spend money I really don’t have, and I can always get dried papaya and candied or dried pineapple and some delicious jams for a Germanic one later. The Levantine one would either be alcohol free or preserved with wine, probably the locally produced Concord I’ve got since I don’t have any decent kosher wine (and Manischewitz DOES NOT COUNT), and the Germanic… honestly, I’m thinking brandy, if I can’t get applejack, kirschwasser, or pfirsichwasser.

          Fun fact: leftover fruitcake can be cut thin, about 1/3″-1/2″, and used in bread pudding. It’s incredible. OMNOMNOMNOM. The same goes for stale cookies. I had some chocolate chip cookies that went stale a while ago, so I baked them in a rich custard, and OMG, I had to fight Dad to get any.

  21. When I give stuff to trick-or-treaters, which I don’t do every year, I always give out something other than food. Pencils, stickers, et c. This sort of avoids the whole issue of food restrictions, possible poison (few or no actual cases) healthy vs unhealthy food, and so on.

    • Last year, we ran out of candy just as a boy and his little sister came to the door.

      I gave them a buck each. :D

    • We gave out quarters one year. We did get a few “repeat customers” but mostly it worked out one quarter apiece. I began to catch on to the repeaters when I noticed a few familiar costumes showing up every few minutes. :)

      • Hah, dumb kids. Everyone knows you keep some extra costume pieces in reserve for the good houses.

        What?
        ;)

      • We’ve done quarters for several years now. The kids love ‘em!

  22. Your comment really triggered me (more than I realized at first) for a few reasons.

    First, she is not “promoting obesity” by handing out candy. Obesity comprises so many more things than simply nutrition. Halloween comes only once a year. Is candy the healthiest choice a person can make? Probably not, if that’s all you eat, but candy can absolutely be a healthy part of most folks’ lives if they don’t have specific health situations that make candy toxic to them. But that’s up to each person (or his parents) to decide.

    Second, I’m seeing a suggestion of shame for those who choose to give out candy instead of a so-called healthy alternative like “pretzels, raisins, etc.” This bothers me because I’ve worked really hard to STOP moralizing my food choices. This kind of “HFCS is bad, raisins are good” dichotomy is really popular in our culture right now, but food is not a moral choice unless we decide to make it one. I feel like you’re telling me it’s not OK for me to make that choice.

    Third, it’s not doing “every child” a favor to hand out pretzels or raisins because both of those things can be problematic to different kids. Everyone’s health and health choices are different and it’s not helpful to moralize health in that way.

    Truly, this entire issue comes from a position of tremendous wealth privilege. We are blessed to live in a country of abundance. People in so many other places in the world don’t have the luxury of choosing “healthy” food over “unhealthy” food. They’re just grateful to have something to put in their bellies at night. I think it’s important that we remember this in the middle of all this outrage.

    • Thanks for saying this, Helena. I found Carol’s comment quite triggering as well and you hit the nail on the head.

    • Brilliant as usual Helena. I’m deleting the original comment, but I wanted to make sure that you know how much I appreciate your reply.

      ~Ragen

    • Really good point. Food does not have moral value. (Unless you steal another kid’s candy—then that’s immoral.)

      And you’re absolutely right about the pretzels and raisins. Both of them are on the list of foods to avoid for kids with braces, for example.

      It’s *FAR* more harmful to kids to teach them shame and fear around their food choices than to let them eat a bunch of candy one night a year.

      • No kidding. If I remember correctly, my mother let us eat as much candy as we wanted on that one holiday and somehow, we still turned out all right :)

        If I was a mother who had a child that was bullied by a woman like this, I’d be tempted to say that she’s just a wicked witch who likes to scare and be mean to children…

    • You have said so much of what is bothering me about a lot of the comments I have seen here, even though the commenters are rightly angered by this (probably mythical) women’s attitude & behavior. Many of the people commenting here, indeed many of the people I see around online fat acceptance, do still believe in the whole ‘good food/bad food’ dichotomy & believe that children should not be given candy (which, btw, is NOT made with HFCS, chocolate is made from a leguminous vegetable, contains quite a lot of nutrition, & indications are even that those of us who eat chocolate regularly have a reduced risk of heart disease). However, that is beside the point, Halloween is about fun, candy is a fun food, & for MOST people, specific allergies or health issues notwithstanding, eating some candy is not going to do them any harm. And indeed, whatever policies there are about candy or eating in general are the business of the individual families, not random strangers.

      You cannot tell a damn thing about a person’s health, eating or exercise habits, or anything else by the size of that person’s body. Body size is generally mostly genetic, it is very hard & nearly impossible to change permanently, & It has far less effect on health or longevity than we are being manipulated to believe. Our bodies belong to us & how we live in them is our own business. We do not need nannies telling us how to live & no one gets to tell us that our body size determines whether or not we are allowed to enjoy life & eat what we want.

      • Your comment (and others) made me want to clarify something I said earlier. I don’t see anything wrong with handing out candy on Halloween, and I don’t think doing so contributes this (imaginary, in my opinion) childhood obesity problem.

        That said, the serious internal logic flaw in this lady (for lack of a better word) handing out *both* candy and these notes absolutely infuriates me. She clearly either doesn’t believe her own garbage about the candy being the problem, or she isn’t trying to be helpful.

        I tend to lean toward she probably does believe it — at least enough to be hopeful that she, in her all-powerful glory, is helping create even more fat kids for her to bully next October. Which makes her doubly twisted.

      • “which, btw, is NOT made with HFCS, chocolate is made from a leguminous vegetable”

        Some candy is made with HFCS, but you’re right – most chocolate isn’t.

        You really have to be a diligent label reader to avoid HFCS, because it’s in so much stuff. None of the candy I bought for tonight has it, simply because I choose not to eat it myself and wouldn’t hand it out to peoples’ kids, either. I think it does bad things to the body (that have nothing to do with obesity), and I won’t even have it in my house!

        • We are handing out 2 dollar bills this year! We only get on average 11 kids max. I used to love Halloween but all the joy has been sucked out of it because of the low attendance. And it’s raining something horrible here which I’m sure will sour the turn out even more ( never mind the real pedophile that moved in two doors down.) grumble

          • Oh yeah and my chubby 20 yr old actually thought the infamous letter was funny! I wonder how he really would have felt on the receiving end? But then again he’s safe in our house because I have pummeled my doctor husband into being chill about his food.

            My therapist thinks the whole letter is really a radio station prank… But what ever. Based on the response from the street… Short of creating a dialogue, it seems ” fat bashing of children publicly” is frowned upon… Even by the fat hating masses.

        • That’s awesome. I don’t have the funds to avoid HFCS completely, but I do what I can to cut it out of as much as possible. When people pull the whole “oh, you’re one of THOSE people” on me, my favorite reply is “You believe in moderation, right?” majority of the people who I ask say yes, so I say “Then how can you have moderation when HFCS is in just about everything you eat? Doesn’t it make sense to try to cut it out where you can so you can at least *try* to eat it in moderation?” I have yet to have a person continue the argument. It comes in handy for defending my position on staying away from soy and propylene glycol.

          • Yeah, it’s really tough to avoid HFCS, and I’ve had to give up foods I love (Manwich sauce! Campbell’s Tomato Soup!), but in the long run I think it’ll be worth it.

            We should probably be avoiding soy and propylene glycol too, but then I’m not sure what we’d eat, LOL.

  23. This year I am planning on giving out ghost and pumpkin-shaped erasers and maybe spare change if I run out. I’m tired of all the candy my son gets and doesn’t eat…it winds up getting all funkified in the pantry and attracting moths.

    This is PURELY my opinion and has nothing to do with obesity, but the kids in my son’s school get candy as a reward for just about anything. And they hand out candy for birthday parties, etc. I don’t like my son getting even more. I closely monitor how much he eats when he’s home. I don’t have any problem with him Trick or Treating, but I will say that last year he got a lot of pencils, Play Doh, puzzles, and bubbles in his bag which he really enjoyed. I just don’t like all the candy.

    However, I have no plans to hand out the erasers with notes saying, “You’re too fat. No candy for you, Here’s an eraser instead, so suck it.” If this is a true story, why doesn’t she just turn off her lights and hang the sign on the door? I’d be tempted to bomb her house with Egg Beaters and tubs of non-fat Cool Whip. You know, just so her viewpoint is recognised.

    • “f this is a true story, why doesn’t she just turn off her lights and hang the sign on the door?”

      Because just putting a “No candy” sign on the door and turning off the porch light wouldn’t allow her to make fat kids feel bad about themselves and parents of fat kids feel bad about their parenting.

      Making kids cry! Making parents feel inadequate! Two for one shaming! It’s win/win!

      Ugh, I can’t believe I even typed that.

    • Egg Beaters! I almost wet myself laughing.
      I gotta say I love the idea of pelting someone ‘preachy’ with non fat fake foods. Something about that appeals to me.

      Can we have an event where everyone throws nasty packaged diet food -frozen- nuclear- barely food stuff (not naming diet companies here, but could) at fat hating bigots (or figurative representatives of)? Cause I would TOTALLY want to play.

      • I’ve actually found some situations where that egg substitute crap comes in handy! At IHOP, for instance, if you order an omelet with egg substitute, it’s wheat free. I mean, I still get gluten contamination, and it’s not pretty, but when it’s that or starve on a road trip or night out, it’s a WHOLE lot prettier than the alternative. Additionally, my dad can’t eat eggs and onions together, but he can eat egg substitute and onions. Oh, and they make for a really easy quiche.

        However, packaged egg whites are SHIT for baking or making candy. UGH! Give me a couple dozen eggs bought from the farm up the road, fresh from a chicken’s ass that morning!

        • Yeah, I’ve been known to order them out for similar reasons. And you MUST have actual fresh egg whites for making delightful treats like meringue and divinity.
          I just like the juxtaposition with throwing regular eggs.

          I suppose I should make it clear that I don’t care what anyone else eats, nor do I expect them to do the same for me. I generally eat less processed foods more for politcal/anti-corporate reasons, but wouldn’t judge others who don’t share my leanings.

          As a vegetarian of several decades, I loves me a good meat analogue, especially while traveling. MMM, morningstar farms fake bacon…delish. 100 calorie packs of stale-ish bland crackers and cookies? Not so much. I had envisioned liberating prepackaged overpriced portion controlled highly packaged diet dinner type stuff. But flying non fat cool whip fascinates me from a physics standpoint.

        • Cartons of egg whites are awesome for dredging things you plan to oven-fry, though. I use them for what my husband refers to as “zucchini crack”, which are oven fried zucchini slices coated with a mix of bread crumbs, grated parmesan, garlic powder, salt and pepper. I could use a whole egg, but I don’t like the consistency, and I don’t feel like wasting yolks from a in order to solely use the whites for something we eat so often.

          • …..

            That recipe, but replace the zucchini with patty pan squash. I’ve never been a zucchini fan, but patty pan stole my heart and soul the first time I sank my teeth into its firm, sweet, tender, incredibly delicious flesh. (Oh, and as soon as I read the full coating blend, I ran out and recited it to Mom, aka the Zucchini Queen.) I wish I’d gotten enough patty pans to freeze some this year–Mom and Dad won’t let me grow any because they take over like kudzu and Triffids–but I eated them instead. They are, btw, absolutely marvelous in end-of-summer soup, which I’ve still got frozen. It’s got a little of everything, from pumpkin and sweet potatoes, to carrots, patty pan, and a taro root I needed to use. :)

            I’d go ahead and separate a whole egg, but I eat a lot of custard because my health makes my digestive system fussy, and sometimes that’s the only solid I can face besides plain eggs. Extra yolks just mean extra nutrients and a richer final product. (Fun fact: I’ve found that in the case of upset stomachs, sweetening with honey is the way to go. Yay for pre-digested foods!)

            During the holidays, I use the yolks left from divinity and other goodies to either enrich my cookies and cakes, or make gluten free versions of old fashioned delectables like trifle, complete with homemade, usually vegetarian, sherry or port or even brandy jelly. And OMGOMGOMG IT’S NOVEMBER I GET TO START COOKING SQUEEEEEE!!!!!

            • Dang it, now you’re going to force me to try patty pan squash, aren’t you? I’ll have to look for it when I go to the store next time. :) New-to-me veggies are always a fun experiment.

              I wish I could freeze the yolks with success for those few times I do need them for a cake or a custard, but that always backfires on me. I just don’t make them often enough; I haven’t tried adding them to the quickbreads and cookies that I’m constantly making on rainy days.

  24. Hi Carol,

    Helena already did a great job of explaining why your comment is problematic so I won’t go back into that. It’s also not appropriate for this blog – discussing a body size as wrong, unhealthy, something to be avoided etc. is never ok here – so I’ll be deleting it now. If you are interested in reading about the myth of promoting obesity, I would suggest you start here: http://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/2011/12/09/the-promoting-obesity-myth/

    ~Ragen

  25. I’m sad I live on the 2 block stretch of road that does not have a side walk, so minimal T&T stop by. I love dressing up, decorating the yard, and handing out treats. A well decorated driveway is almost better than the candy waiting at the end. When I still lived in a side-walked area I had a bowl of alternate treats if parents/kids wanted: no peanut, no gluten, toys, fruit snacks, etc. Everyone else grab a whole handful of candy: its Halloween!

  26. In my day, back in the 60s and 70s we used pillow cases to haul away our loot which back then was still a full size candy bar! Don’t be “jelly”!
    These days of course we have what I call candy nuggets because of their size. I decorate the outside and inside for Halloween as it’s still one of my faves and my biggest problem is that the kids today use those little tiny plastic pumpkins for their candy and I’m trying to fit my hand in there with some candy for them.

    I personally think this woman is a hoax or would not actually go through with it if it weren’t due to the egging and abuse she’d get after the first letter hit the streets!

  27. This woman is EVIL! I’m thin now, but puberty was a bitch for me. Let me tell you, I still get anxiety if I eat more than twice a day, and as a child I thought anorexia was great. This creature and others like her have blood on their hands since they inspire EDs and suicide.

  28. I don’t understand? I thought our society’s motto was “No one’s personal life is anyone else’s business”? Only when it comes to people of size is it okay to force themselves into our existence. It’s horrible to see children this day and age subjected to the idea of bullying and abuse based on their appearance. Like as if it wasn’t bad enough that we have a culture that has for a long time instilled this into us as a society but now let’s make it even more blatant to this kids about biogtry and discrimination based on appearance.

    And I was disturbed at the comments defending this person saying “Why is she bad because she’s concered about fat kids eating too much candy and obesity”. No she’s not concerned about health or obesity she’s reinforcing ignorance and prejudice ideas that larger people consume more food therefore that’s the reason we’re big. Notice the note referred to thinner children as “some others” meaning her target was solely fat children and excusing thinner kids. She assumed the fat children gorged on candy making them fat while excusing thinner children who probably are the one’s gorging on candy are thin so they “MUST” have control. It’s damaging to the smaller kids as well as the larger kids reinforcing this tainted superfical ideology about health and body image. Her so called “concerned” didn’t come from a place of love but a place of ignorance so I’m not shocked she had some supporters because we’re still in denial about people’s ignorance towards larger individuals.

    It has nothing to do with health but more about wanting to control individuals we loathe or deem inferior and detriment to this superficial ableist society we live in. No person on this planned is that concerned about the average individual’s personal life, so to see us accept people digging their noses into what fat people do with our bodies annoys me.

  29. Oh ladies don’t worry the house handing out the letters will serve as an indicator of who wrote this and stupidly gives up her address as well. Know what else kids do? They handle fights, disagreements and hurt feelings like kids. That said I hope she likes eggs and toilet paper. In my opinion until it’s against the law to be overweight and somehow she gets deputized as the fat police. She needs to keep her know it all, bullying, ignorant mouth shut. Or face the consequences of her free speach…because just let her attempt to hurt my little loves. Shame isn’t the answer. If I walked past a smoker and said do you really want to have stained teeth? Or die of lung cancer? Hmmmm? I’d fully expect to be verbally assaulted. Or even possibly physically assaulted. I certainly wouldn’t be looking for it takes a village Hilary Clinton accolades.

  30. Ugh, so many people throwing around the word “bitch” here. You guys realize that’s a sexist and misogynistic slur right? There really is not male equivalent to the word “bitch” and it has been used as a slur against women for ages. You all need to stop that. We women should not be using such sexist language against each other.

    Now, what this woman is going is horrible! She’s real asshole and I would love to give her a piece of my mind. What she is doing is nothing short of being a bully! I can’t believe anyone would take it upon themselves to do this to children. Does she not realize that most of the letters will probably be read BY THE CHILDREN? She’s a body policing bully and needs to be called out for this.

    I really hope she, and others like her, realize that you can’t shame a person healthy (even if you could just look at a person and see what their eating habits are, which of course YOU CAN’T). Yikes. I really would love to slap this lady. It’s people like her that are contributing to so many children with low self esteem and who are turning to eating disorders at younger and younger ages.

    If she’s really doing this I can’t even imagine the impact it’s going to have on these kids’ self esteem, body image, and self worth. My heart breaks for them.

  31. That N.D. woman is seriously getting into the bad side of the underpants rule, for sure.

    There are SO many parents who have children participating in trick or treat and monitor how the candy is consumed. In fact, I don’t know any parents who let the kids eat the candy all at once or in excess. I remember how cool it was that my kids’ candy always lasted until just before Christmas stocking time!

    I’ve heard of parents having the kids pick a few items then taking all the candy and boxing it up to send to military folks overseas.

    Another family I know has the candy fairy come. The kids get to pick a couple items, then they leave it on the dining room table for the faery. The faery comes and leaves a book or toy or game in place of the candy. Again, that family donates the candy to other sources.

    There are so many creative things people do to help the kids not excess on candy to the detriment of their daily nutritional needs. And, none of those families focus the reason for not eating it all on body size.. just on sharing and learning to be moderate in snacking.

    • “In fact, I don’t know any parents who let the kids eat the candy all at once or in excess.”

      Unfortunately, I do know parents who do this. Their kids eat candy for breakfast – *literally*.

      Thankfully, they seem to be the exception rather than the rule. And anyway, it’s Ok since *those* kids are *thin*, amirite? *headdesk*

      • Eh, I think it’s a perfectly reasonable way for kids to learn that…that much candy isn’t actually fun. We were allowed to eat as much as we wanted on Halloween (after the “inspection”, because this was during the big paranoia time) and Easter, and yes, we occasionally made ourselves sick on sweets, or super hyper and then sugar-crash and upset. But generally we ate a reasonable amount. They never confiscated or took away any of it either (except for items that failed “inspection”), though after the day-of when we were small it was put on a shelf and we asked for permission. In fact, it made a pretty good intuitive eating lesson.

        (Though I did get to feel a little rebellious because it was the only time of year I got to eat Nestle candies of various sorts — my parents boycotted them, so when I got to pick out candy on other occasions, I couldn’t get Nestle Crunch bars, which I adored.)

        • “Eh, I think it’s a perfectly reasonable way for kids to learn that…that much candy isn’t actually fun.”

          They seem to think it’s fun. Like I said, they eat candy for breakfast.

          I don’t think parents should make candy a “forbidden food”, but I also don’t think kids should eat it for breakfast every day, either. And we’re not just talking Halloween or Easter, we’re talking *every single day*. Yes, I’m serious.

          But not my kids, not my business.

        • Our dentist actually told us that candy binges were better for the kids than daily snacking on it for a month or so. The amount of goop you get on your teeth from a couple of pieces of candy versus a bunch is not very different, so having candy around for many fewer days is a net gain.

          • I really don’t know. I was allowed to have candy whenever I wanted it. And I wanted it rarely. I still want it rarely. I’m not sure if that’s because I was allowed Candy On Demand, or if I’m not wired to have much of a sweet tooth. Or both? IDK.

            In any event, I don’t think candy (or anything else) should be made into a Forbidden Food. The lure of the forbidden, you know?

            Also, it’s not up to me to make food choices for other people. I make food choices for me and for our pets (our dog is on a prescription diet) and that’s about it.

            I really don’t care what other people eat. I file it under “Not My Business”.

          • PS. I meant to add that I’m middle aged and I don’t have a single cavity in my mouth. So… IDK. ;)

  32. This pissed me off so much I decided I’m just not talking about it, because I try not to use that sort of language in public.

  33. I can’t wait to see the aftermath of this if she really goes through with it. She may think it “takes a village”, but I’ve also heard stories of villagers with pitchforks and torches.

  34. I eat very little candy that is not chocolate, it seems like a waste of time to me. Maybe I am just too OLD for the Nerds, the Warheads, & all the other stuff which, to me, tastes absolutely awful. So anyone who comes to my house gets little chocolate bars. I love chocolate, as did my mother & grandmother, who both ate a LOT of sugar, were not diabetic, & lived to be 85 & 90, respectively. We have candy in the house most of the time, so no one binges around here, including my granddaughter. We all know we can have a piece when we want it so there is no pressure to eat it NOW.

    I don’t believe food has a moral value & I personally am always very skeptical about anything which is demonized & vilified so much in the media & in our culture, so I reserve judgment on HFCS. Someone with a background in chemistry informed me that, chemically, it is EXACTLY the same as table sugar, that, regardless of the type of sugar, sugar is sugar is sugar. I can tell you that molasses has some vitamins & iron & that real maple syrup has a surprisingly amount of some B-vitamins, some calcium, zinc, etc., not found in regular sugar, but I do eat sugar in all forms, including the occasional soda, which usually has HFCS. I have so far, for 64 years, been extremely healthy & get sick less than anyone I know, so I guess we shall see. My own personal belief is that, unless food is spoiled or contaminated in some way or you are allergic to it, food isn’t going to hurt you. However, I do buy foods without HFCS mostly for my granddaughter, because her mother prefers it that way.

    I suspect that this story is apocryphal, a hoax generated for who knows what reason, but at least partly to, as usual, call attention to the ‘horrors of OBEEESITY’, but I don’t have much patience with any judgmental busybodies, most especially those who presume to hurt & bully little children.

  35. I’m so glad that you posted that about the woman giving out letters instead of candy to fat kids. Wish there was a way to get her address and tell kids not to go there. I feel sorry for the kids who will receive the letters. Blatant bullying in my opinion. It will not help them at all.
    Maybe people will egg and toilet paper her house. JK…sort of.

  36. Just to note, some friends and I stood out on the bridge over the creek that runs through my neighborhood, and we passed out FULL-SIZE CANDY BARS for an HOUR. :D Take that, possibly mythical lady in the chilly north!

    My neighborhood is known to be safe, well-lit, affluent, and full of houses, so we get kids from ALLLL over the metro area, including a lot of economically disadvantaged kids for whom Halloween is a chance to get treats they ration out for MONTHS. And, hell, I’m a great big kid myself–I was the only one of us in costume (I’ve got pics, if I can remember my old Flickr password to upload them). I’m not about to judge any kid out on Halloween, fat, thin, local, distant, whatever. As long as they’re having a blast, awesome. And OMG, you should SEE the way they light up when they get the REAL fun size bars! NOT EVEN FROM A HOUSE! I swear, I got more excited giving them away than the kids were getting them, just because they were so stunned! This is the one day a year that I turn into an extrovert–not only do I not have to be myself, but I get to make a bunch of kids SO UNEXPECTEDLY HAPPY.

    Kinda makes you wonder how bitter and miserable someone would have to be to give out “your child is fat” letters instead.

  37. I hope this is just a radio station trolling, as some others have suggested. I’m choosing to believe that it is, at least until some confirmation surfaces one way or another – there are just too many things for me to be heartsick about right now.

  38. If there was ever a time for a flaming bag of dog poo on front porch steps, that time is now.


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