Things that Aren’t Bullying

Reality and PerceptionI was in a conversation where I was pointing out how completely screwed up I think it is to body shame strangers for sport on the internet, and someone responded to suggest that what I was doing was “the same thing I was arguing against” by speaking out against the behavior, and that I was “bullying” people for thinking that something (“something” here having the meaning of a video of a person none of us knew) is funny, and that they have a “right to their opinion.”  This is a common reaction to being called out on stigma, shaming, and bullying – try to paint the person who is pointing out your bad behavior as the bully.

Here’s the thing.  There is a vast difference between shaming, stigmatizing and bullying, and pointing that behavior out. (I certainly wouldn’t walk past someone bullying someone else and not intervene because the bully has a right to their opinion.)  Making fun of strangers for sport is not even close to  the same thing as pointing out why that is problematic. This is a tactic that is often used to try to shut down civil rights activism, or to silence those people who point out behavior that shames, stigmatizes or bullies other people.

Another excuse used in the conversation was that I was directly “bullying” people in person by pointing out that their behavior was hurtful, because they’re behavior of body shaming her didn’t hurt her at all.  The truth is that we don’t know the affects on this woman because we don’t know if she’s seen the body shaming that people are engaging in and if she did, how she felt about it. What I do know is that this kind of behavior reinforces a culture where women are punished with shaming and derision for existing in bodies that don’t meet a stereotype of beauty. It’s about the fact that people making negative comments about her body don’t just affect her, but everyone else who sees the comments and gets the message that some bodies are good bodies, and others deserved to be shamed and made fun of because of how they look.

You are under no obligation to speak out against this kind of behavior, but if you do, and the people engaging in shaming, stigmatizing and bullying someone try to suggest that you are the problem, you can speak out against that too.

Like this blog? Consider supporting my work by becoming a member! For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you. I get paid for some of my speaking and writing (and do both on a sliding scale to keep it affordable), but a lot of the work I do (like answering hundreds of request for help and support every day) isn’t paid so member support makes it possible (THANK YOU to my members, I couldn’t do this without you and I really can’t tell you how much I appreciate your support!)   Click here for details

Book Me!  I give talks all across the country about self-esteem, body image, health and wellness for people of size and more, and I’d love to speak to your organization. (I’ll be in Northern New York and Central Pennsylvania in the next couple of months if you are in those areas and would like to add an event to those trips.) You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Here’s more cool stuff:

Buy my book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

 

 

Published in: on September 18, 2014 at 7:02 am  Comments (4)  

BELVIQ – Hilarious if It Wasn’t Horrifying

Bad DoctorI talked a couple of days ago about why I think it’s important to avoid supporting organizations like the Obesity Action Coalition. Today at the gym I saw an advertisement for the weight loss drug BELVIQ (whose manufacturer gave the OAC over $100,000) that reminded me why I think it’s so important. What I learned about BELVIQ was so ridiculous that it would be funny if it wasn’t completely horrifying:

What does it do to you?  (All of these quotes are pulled directly from their website)

Before using BELVIQ, tell your doctor about all the medicines you take, especially medicines that treat depression, migraines, mental problems, or the common cold. These medicines may cause serious or life-threatening side effects if taken with BELVIQ. Call your doctor right away if you experience agitation, hallucinations, confusion, or other changes in mental status; coordination problems; uncontrolled muscle spasms; muscle twitching; restlessness; racing or fast heartbeat; high or low blood pressure; sweating; fever; nausea; vomiting; diarrhea; or stiff muscles.

You read that right, taking BELVIQ with cold medicine could be life threatening.

It is not known if BELVIQ when taken with other prescription, over-the-counter, or herbal weight-loss products is safe and effective. It is not known if BELVIQ changes your risk of heart problems, stroke, or death due to heart problems or stroke.

There are some combinations that we know can cause serious or life-threatening side effects.  Everything else might do that, we really have no idea. Hell, this medicine might kill you on it’s own, again we just don’t know.  I mean, we can’t be expected to know everything right? Shut up and take the pill fatty.

BELVIQ may slow your thinking. You should not drive a car or operate heavy equipment until you know how BELVIQ affects you.

Maybe you remember that “joke” survey in which women were asked if they would choose to be smarter if it meant that they would have a bigger ass. The joke’s on you because that shit just got real.

Some people taking medicines like BELVIQ have had heart valve problems. Call your doctor right away if you experience trouble breathing; swelling of the arms, legs, ankles, or feet; dizziness, fatigue, or weakness that will not go away; or fast or irregular heartbeat.

I mean, who needs working heart valves, fitting into that size whatever is totes worth it y’all!

Taking too much BELVIQ may cause hallucinations, a feeling of being high or in a very good mood, or feelings of standing outside your body.

Careful, you may miss the signs that our drug is killing you because you’re too busy chatting with the purple spotted elephant.  But nobody would take too much right?  It’s not like it’s addictive.

BELVIQ is a federally controlled substance (CIV) because it may be abused or lead to drug dependence.

Oh, right, it is addictive.  Um… But you’ll be thin.  Yes, focus on that.  Thin thin thin thin thin thin. (Or, you know, probably not but we’ll get to that.)

BELVIQ may cause your heart to beat slower

Which, if you think about it, might help your heart valve hold out a little longer.  It’s not a bug, it’s a feature! (sarcasm level is a 10 out of 10 here)

BELVIQ may cause your red and white blood cell counts to decrease.

Are your current high blood cell counts making you look fat?  We’ve got you covered.

BELVIQ may increase the amount of a hormone called prolactin. Tell your doctor if your breasts begin to make milk or a milky fluid, or if you are a male and your breasts increase in size.

Maybe you thought it was one of those hallucinations we talked about but nope, you’re lactating!

Let’s review:

This medicine may cause your heart and brain to slow down, your white and red blood cell count to drop, your heart to be damaged, and non specific life-threatening side effects.  And you may become addicted to it.  I’m sure the scientists accountants working on BELVIQ were relieved to find out that, even though the side effects might make people want to quit, there’s a possibility that they won’t be able to, and as long as they remain fat the drug is recommended for them and paid for by their insurance.

But what are we risking all of this for?

In a major clinical trial, people taking BELVIQ were able to lose weight and maintain weight loss up to 2 years. In the 2-year study, almost half of people who completed the first year continued on in year 2. All people regained weight but remained below their starting weight.

  • Almost half of people (47.1%) taking BELVIQ® lost 5% or more of their body weight after 1 year of treatment, compared with those using diet and exercise alone (22.6%)
  • Some (22.4%) lost as much as 10% of their body weight after 1 year of treatment, compared with those using diet and exercise alone (8.7%)

First of all, did you catch that HALF the people dropped out of the study at year one.  No news from BELVIQ about why – maybe they wanted to take cold medicine without risking their lives?  And nobody maintained their weight loss –  the most anyone lost was 10% of their body weight before they started regaining, which every single one of them did, even though they were still on the drug.

We know that almost everyone can lose weight on a diet and almost everyone gains it back within the next three to five years. So based on the research what we are seeing is the beginning of the weight regain that will eventually find around 95% of people regaining  all of their weight with many gaining back more than they lost, while perhaps becoming addicted to a drug with side effects that include death, or dealing with the long term consequences of taking the drug, which have not been studied at all.

We’re all dying to know, how does it work anyway?

BELVIQ® helps you feel satisfied with less food by targeting a hunger receptor in the brain.

Of course!  Feeding your body less food than it needs to survive in the hopes that it will consume itself and become smaller is difficult.  BELVIQ can help you become more adept at completely ignoring your bodies signals by messing with your brain. But exactly how does it do that?

The precise way BELVIQ® produces feelings of satisfaction is not fully understood.

And why would we bother to fully understand how it works? I mean, they’re just fat people, they’re barely human. We don’t know how this works, what we do know is that it seems to stop working between year one and year two, that it’s addictive, and that it may seriously harm or kill people. The diagnosis for who should take this dangerous, addictive, and poorly understood drug is a simple ratio of weight and height and as long as that’s in range insurance may even cover it!  Hey, let’s offer a free trial on our website – first one’s free!

Now, I’ve been joking around because that’s one of the ways that I deal with the absolute horror of things like this – but make no mistake, this drug is going to kill people.  People who could have lived full, happy lives in the bodies that they have now are literally going to die trying to be thin while this company rakes in millions, even billions, in profits. And if, like the victims of Phen-Fen before it, their surviving family members are able to get a settlement because of this company’s complete negligence, it will be cold comfort for them, and just a drop in the bucket of profits for Eisai pharmaceuticals.  Right now some doctor somewhere is probably recommending this to an unsuspecting fat person who will take it because they trust their healthcare practitioner not to put their life in danger for no good reason.

The “War on Obesity” is being fought whether we like it or not and, to me, is seems clear that they don’t care if they shrink us or kill us, as long as they don’t have to look at fat people anymore (you know, for our own good.).  If they want a war on obesity I will fucking give them one and for me that includes never, ever supporting these companies because it’s truly life and death.

Like this blog? Consider supporting my work by becoming a member! For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you. I get paid for some of my speaking and writing (and do both on a sliding scale to keep it affordable), but a lot of the work I do (like answering hundreds of request for help and support every day) isn’t paid so member support makes it possible (THANK YOU to my members, I couldn’t do this without you and I really can’t tell you how much I appreciate your support!)   Click here for details

Book Me!  I give talks all across the country about self-esteem, body image, health and wellness for people of size and more, and I’d love to speak to your organization. (I’ll be in Northern New York and Central Pennsylvania in the next couple of months if you are in those areas and would like to add an event to those trips.) You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Here’s more cool stuff:

Buy my book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

 

 

Published in: on September 17, 2014 at 7:41 am  Comments (53)  

Write a Letter, Feel Much Better

You Forgot Your BullshitAs fat people in a fatphobic society, we deal with a bunch of ridiculous bullshit all the time, from family and friends food police to street harassment to businesses that don’t accommodate us, sometimes on purpose.   There are lots of ways to deal with all of these things, today I want to talk about the power of writing a letter.  I don’t mean letter writing campaigns – though they can be powerful – I don’t even mean reviews on site like Yelp  – though they can be effective as well.

What I’m talking about is dealing with discrimination/poor treatment where you decide not to fight back in the situation (which is a legitimate choice) and/or you still have more to say after it’s all over.  Maybe it’s because you decide not to go off on your fat shaming grandma at the family reunion, maybe it’s because you just don’t want to get into it with the nail salon owner who wants to charge you extra for being fat, or maybe the guys who threw eggs at you drove away like cowards before you could have that chat you were hoping for (about fat bigotry and also that dude’s terrible throwing mechanics…)

In cases like that I have found that it can be sometimes help to write a letter so that instead of dealing with internalized rage I get it out there.  To me there are three main parts to the letter:

1.  Name the party who wronged me specifically

2.  Place the problem where it belongs  – on the person who perpetuated the mistreatment (this can keep me from buying into the idea that social stigma is my fault because bigots insist that people who look me deserve mistreatment, or that the cure for social stigma is for me to change myself – essentially giving the bullies my lunch money and hoping they stop beating me up.)

3.  Take back my empowerment over the situation – explain how I will not allow them to affect me.

Here’s a little fill-in-the-blank example to get you started, but feel free to ignore it in lieu of whatever you like best (and feel free to write your own and publish them in the comments if you would like!)

Dear [grandma/manicurist/egg chuckers/jerk],

It was really [messed/screwed/fucked] up when you [did that bigoted/bullying/stigmatizing/discriminatory thing to me].  I didn’t appreciate it and [here is what I would like to say to you.]  I wish you weren’t such a [bigot/bully/jackass] and I may not be able to change you, but I’m sure as [heck/anything/shit] not going to let your bad behavior mess with my great life.  I’m going to sign this letter and [send/file/toss/burn] it and your bullshit fatphobia along with it.

Sincerely,

Empowered Fat Person

So there you go, just another little tool for being fat in a fatphobic world!

Like this blog? Consider supporting my work by becoming a member! For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you. I get paid for some of my speaking and writing (and do both on a sliding scale to keep it affordable), but a lot of the work I do (like answering hundreds of request for help and support every day) isn’t paid so member support makes it possible (THANK YOU to my members, I couldn’t do this without you and I really can’t tell you how much I appreciate your support!)   Click here for details

Book Me!  I give talks all across the country about self-esteem, body image, health and wellness for people of size and more, and I’d love to speak to your organization. (I’ll be in Northern New York and Central Pennsylvania in the next couple of months if you are in those areas and would like to add an event to those trips.) You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Here’s more cool stuff:

Buy my book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

 

Published in: on September 16, 2014 at 9:58 am  Comments (26)  

Why I’m Not Signing the OAC Petition

Company you keepOver the past few days I’ve received a number of requests to sign and share a petition.  On the surface the petition looks like a good cause – removing fat shaming apps for app stores.  On further inspection there are serious issues with this and, while I have tremendous respect for many of the people promoting it, and I think that they are very well intentioned, I also think what they are doing is a mistake that will have serious negative short and long-term consequences. And so, while I normally choose just not to participate in activism with which I disagree, this is really important to me and so I’ve decided to speak about it in my space.

The petition was started by the Obesity Action Coalition (Note: I’m not linking to the organization, I’m just am not interested in giving them traffic.  You’ll have to Google if you want to check them out for yourself.).  The problem with this group is that they lie, misinform, and make a profit on the backs of fat people by perpetuating the message that fat people are a problem that needs to be eradicated.  While I think there may well be limited situations where we can effectively use the power and privilege the OAC and groups like it receive for being fatphobic in a society that rewards fatphobia, I think that we should be careful to do so only where we can avoid actually promoting them or their message.

Let’s start with the lying.

They say “The OAC is the organization representing more than 93 million Americans impacted by obesity.”

This might give you the idea that they have 93 million fat members.  Not the case, they simply take an estimate of the number of “obese” people and claim to represent all of us. They sure as hell don’t represent me.  I’m know I’m not the only one but even if I was, this is still a lie.

Wondering who they really represent?  Let’s take a look at who funds them:

Companies that give $100,000 or more

  • Allergan – Manufacturers of the lap band
  • American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric [weight loss] Surgery
  • Covidien – “committed to better patient outcomes through bariatric surgery
  • Eisai – manufactures of the weight loss drug Belviq
  • Vivus – manufacturers of the weight loss drug Qsymia

In fact, it appears that every single member of the “Chairman’s Council” (those who give from $1,000 to over $100,000) is a company that profits from selling the promise of weight loss.  Is ending weight stigma so important to these companies that they are pouring hundreds of thousands of dollars into the OAC?  Not exactly.  The OAC says that “Chairman’s Council members receive valuable exposure, such as a formal announcement in the OAC’s e-newsletter that reaches more than 30,000 individuals monthly, a listing in each issue of our quarterly magazine [which is called, I'm not even kidding here, "Your Weight Matters"], and a link on the OAC’s Web site which is a benefit only accessible through this level.”  It’s not exactly the 93 million people the OAC claims to represent, but make no mistake these companies pay the OAC to promote their products.

In addition to promoting weight loss methods that have been shown to be ineffectual and dangerous – even deadly – all to the tune of billions of dollars in profit, they also promote BMI as a way to judge health,

This group is for the eradication of fat people and the lip service they pay, in things like this petition, to not stigmatizing fat people is cold comfort.  I do not think that you can reasonably say “I profit from promoting the elimination of you and everyone who looks like you, but, you know, in a non-stigmatizing way.”

About that petition, let’s see what we’re signing onto when we support it.  This language comes directly from the petition:

30 percent of girls with excess weight and 24 percent of boys with excess weight report being teased by peers at school

Along with serious medical conditions, such as diabetes, heart disease, sleep apnea and more, obesity carries the burden of being the last acceptable form of discrimination in today’s society.

Couching fat bodies as wrong with terms like “excess weight” shames the children they are pretending purporting to care so much about.  There is no shame in having a disease and suggesting that simply being fat or having any of the health conditions mentioned is a “burden” is a stigmatizing message.  Body size and health are two different things and by using language that constantly conflates the two, the OAC makes appearance into a disease which diverts funds from the research and treatment of actual diseases, and creates more opportunities for their high paying members to profit from their products that don’t work – leading to fat people being further stigmatized when we’re blamed for the failure of their products.

Also, Obesity is not the last acceptable form of discrimination. Saying this (especially when, like the OAC, you do it for profit) is an affront to the many, many people who experience discrimination in forms including racism, sexism, ableism, classism, homophobia, trans*phobia, and other forms of discrimination.

Let’s be very clear – every time someone promotes this petition they are suggesting that people read those words, and they are lending their support to them, including the idea that fat people are a problem that needs to be solved.  They are also sending people to the OAC’s website where they will be further indoctrinated with anti-fat, pro-diet culture. I think that couching this partnership as coalition building is a misapplication of the concept because, while there may be compromises to be made in building coalitions, I don’t think that promoting extremely well-funded organizations whose stated goal (and main form of profit) is eliminating you, constitutes a reasonable compromise.  Also, creating a coalition between a community that is fighting for the civil rights of a group of people and an organization that is for suppressing those rights (you know, in a non-stigmatizing way) by spreading misinformation for profit is not, to me, a worthy goal.

While I agree that fat shaming apps are a problem (though I don’t think they are nearly as much of a problem as partnering with the OAC) I think that a single point of agreement is not a good enough reason to create a partnership or even the appearance of one – I think we also have to consider downside risk.  If we give the OAC legitimacy as being part of, or friendly with, the Size Acceptance and Eating Disorder communities by helping to promote some of their work (work which is, in and of itself, deeply problematic), then we help to promote all of their work/agenda and give it legitimacy within our communities.

In fact I think that promotion of the OAC’s work can serve to drive more fat people who are exploring Size Acceptance and Health at Every Size to them, because they will believe that if we support them, then the OAC and their message (fat bodies are require treatment to become thin in order to be healthy) are part of Size Acceptance/Fat Activism/Health at Every Size. Those fat people will then be “educated” that, while they should “not be stigmatized”, their bodies are definitely wrong and bad, and need to be changed, preferably by buying the products sold by the members who donate hundreds of thousands of dollars to the OAC so that they will market them.

There are plenty of people and organizations that I agree with about one thing, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to lend my name to their cause and I think that’s exactly what we do when when we promote a petition created by the OAC .

I think that suggesting that all people who look a certain way should be eradicated IS stigmatizing.  So  I do not think that it’s possible to be truly against weight bias and simultaneously support an organization that has, as its platform, the goal of eradicating fat people and preventing the future existence of fat people, in a way that creates billions of dollars in profit for their high paying members.

Civil rights work is difficult, and sometimes it seems like we should take progress where we can get it, but I don’t think that we are so desperate that we must partner with groups that have our eradication as their stated goal.

Activism Opportunity:

You can speak out against the apps without speaking up for the OAC and its oppressive mission and work.  Below is contact information for each organization (with thanks to Lizabeth at BingeBehavior.com for the research)

Like this blog? Consider supporting my work by becoming a member! For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you. I get paid for some of my speaking and writing (and do both on a sliding scale to keep it affordable), but a lot of the work I do (like answering hundreds of request for help and support every day) isn’t paid so member support makes it possible (THANK YOU to my members, I couldn’t do this without you and I really can’t tell you how much I appreciate your support!)   Click here for details

Book Me!  I give talks all across the country about self-esteem, body image, health and wellness for people of size and more, and I’d love to speak to your organization. (I’ll be in Northern New York and Central Pennsylvania in the next couple of months if you are in those areas and would like to add an event to those trips.) You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Here’s more cool stuff:

Buy my book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

Published in: on September 15, 2014 at 7:34 am  Comments (13)  

Marathon Update: Bad Days

Motivation-catOne of the things about a long-term, difficult to achieve goal like a marathon is that it leaves ample opportunities to have bad days.  For me and this marathon that can mean days when I don’t meet my goals for speed or duration, days when my motivation flags,  days when I think maybe I don’t want to do this and days when I think maybe I can’t.

There are lots of different ways that I deal with bad days:

If I was slower than I wanted to be, I remind myself that improvement is more of a roller coaster than an escalator that goes straight up and I review my longer term progress to remind myself that I’m still on track.

If I have to cut a session short, or miss a session, I remind myself that it’s a long road and that things happen sometimes and that’s ok.

If I find my motivation waning I go full-on cheesy – inspirational songs, stuff on pinterest, the rah rah sayings on the walls of my gym, whatever it takes to get myself back into a good, positive, optimistic place.

When it comes to marathon training the truth is that it’s a long term commitment to doing something that I don’t really like to do,  for a goal that I really want to achieve.  I chose that, I accept it, and part of that for me is not just doing the training but also doing the work to keep myself in a good place mentally.

So, in the selfish interest of having more good stuff for my bad days, please feel free to post your favorite inspirational songs/pictures/things to get over a bad day etc. in the comments!

Like this blog? Consider supporting my work by becoming a member! For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you. I get paid for some of my speaking and writing (and do both on a sliding scale to keep it affordable), but a lot of the work I do (like answering hundreds of request for help and support every day) isn’t paid so member support makes it possible (THANK YOU to my members, I couldn’t do this without you and I really can’t tell you how much I appreciate your support!)   Click here for details

Book Me!  I give talks all across the country about self-esteem, body image, health and wellness for people of size and more, and I’d love to speak to your organization. (I’ll be in Northern New York and Central Pennsylvania in the next couple of months if you are in those areas and would like to add an event to those trips.) You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Here’s more cool stuff:

Buy my book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

Published in: on September 14, 2014 at 10:48 am  Comments (18)  

The Food Morality Thing

Fad DietsAllison is a new reader, and she e-mailed to ask me  a question that I get a lot regarding my feelings about food moralizing – the practicing of labeling food as good, bad, clean, sinful, junk, trash etc.  Specifically she asked:

Because some foods, (such as fruits, vegetable, lean meats and dairy, etc.), contain more nutrients that are good for your body than some other foods (chips, cheese puffs, candy, etc.). So why is it bad label foods that can fuel your body better as “healthy” or “good”? It’s not like I’m saying people are morally obligated to eat certain foods. But isn’t it true that eating foods that can better feed your body is good for you. If you can just clarify on this a little bit, I would appreciate is so much. Thanks for running a good blog!

Thanks for asking Allison! First of all there are a lot of things that go into food choices – availability and affordability of foods, availability and feasibility of cooking methods, availability of time, tools, and skill for food preparation and consumption, allergies, sensitivities, health conditions, culture, religious beliefs, personal moral beliefs, tastes and preferences, and the circumstances at each time someone eats.

Next, the ideaa of foods as “healthy” and “unhealthy” are not absolutes.  For example, vegetables are generally seen as universally “healthy” but there are some people who can’t digest fresh vegetables because of health conditions so they aren’t healthy for them at all.

There are also many ways of eating that people believe are the “healthiest” way or “right” way to eat – many of them are diametrically opposed to each other:  low carb, low fat, raw foods vegan, vegetarian, paleo etc.  People are allowed to choose to eat any way that they want for any reason that they want, but making it a public and adding an element of food being good/bad becomes problematic really quickly.

Our culture encourages us to make our decisions about eating into a performance – we talk about our food choices in a way that we don’t talk about our other bodily function choices. (For example, it wouldn’t be unusual to be at lunch with three other people where we spent most of the lunch discussing what we eat and why.  It would be unusual if we spent the meal discussing how, when, and why we used the restroom even though that’s just the other side of the equation.)

When we turn our personal food choices into a public performance complete with moralization, we create a construct by which people are then judged and often shamed and stigmatized for their food choices, that ignores both context and personal choice.  This disproportionately affects the poor, people with health issues, and people from cultures and religions that are considered different than the “mainstream” (by which I mean the culture doing the judging.)  It also affects fat people since our current paradigm of size bigotry suggests that fat bodies are public property and our choices are up for public comment. It can also contribute to disordered eating and  eating disorders, the understanding being that genetics “loads the gun” by predisposing some to developing eating disorders, and environment- like one in which food choices are constantly put under a social microscope and it can seem that no choice is ever healthy “enough” – pulls the trigger.

So while it’s fine to believe that a certain way of eating is the “best” or “healthiest” for us,  if we feel the need to reinforce our choices by discussing them publicly, and calling other food/food choices “crap” or “trash” or “sinful” or “bad”or whatever, then I think we need to assess why that is.  Is it because we are trying to feel superior?  Is it simple pretension? A need to have our choices validated by insisting that those who make other choices are wrong and putting them down?  An attempt to gain social approval? Regardless I would suggest that, considering the negative outcomes that food moralizing/policing/shaming can have, opting out of it allows us to do a positive thing for our culture with no impact to our ability to make our own choices.

In my dream world everyone would have full and easy access to non-biased information about food and nutrition available to them, and would have access (including affordability, cooking method and time to prepare and the ability to learn the skills to make) the foods that they would choose to eat, and live in an environment where they are not judged for their choices.

For now I think that when it comes to nutrition we should confine ourselves to making decisions for ourselves and, if we are interested in helping others then we can work to make sure that people have access to neutral, unbiased information (giving advice only when directly asked,) and access to the foods that they would choose to eat, and respect their choices in the same way we want ours to be respected.

Like this blog? Consider supporting my work by becoming a member! For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you. I get paid for some of my speaking and writing (and do both on a sliding scale to keep it affordable), but a lot of the work I do (like answering hundreds of request for help and support every day) isn’t paid so member support makes it possible (THANK YOU to my members, I couldn’t do this without you and I really can’t tell you how much I appreciate your support!)   Click here for details

Book Me!  I give talks all across the country about self-esteem, body image, health and wellness for people of size and more, and I’d love to speak to your organization. (I’ll be in Northern New York and Central Pennsylvania in the next couple of months if you are in those areas and would like to add an event to those trips.) You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Here’s more cool stuff:

Buy my book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

Published in: on September 13, 2014 at 12:03 pm  Comments (32)  

Of Course Katie Hopkins is Being Ridiculous

facepalmI have a few rules for this blog (they’re really more like guidelines…) and one of them is that if 100 non-troll people ask me to write about something I usually do.  Today the whole Katie Hopkins debacle passed that threshold so here you go 102 readers:

If you aren’t familiar (you lucky thing) Katie Hopkins is famous for having been part of a reality show, and subsequently saying horrible things to get attention, without a care in the world about the bigotry she perpetuates.  She’s now taking her bigotry against fat people further with a ridiculous stunt in which she gained about 44 pounds so that she can lose it to “prove” that people can lose weight if they try.  TLC has given her a two-part documentary to, in their words and not hers, “confront her attitudes and put her beliefs to the test, by following her own physical and emotional journey as she gains and loses weight, whilst exploring the broader issues of body image in our society.”

So far she has lamented about how difficult it is to eat 6500 calories a day for three months (if she’s surprised by that then clearly her meal plan did not include a bowl of No Shit Sherlock flakes) and then whined “This is a stupid project. I hate fat people for making me do this…” I agree with the first part.  As for the second, I’ve seen plenty of footage of her and in none of it did I seen a gang of menacing fat people threatening to harm her if she didn’t eat a tube of Pringles.  As far as I’m concerned the only thing I’ve seen more pathetic than her whining, is people complimenting her for her “bravery” and wishing her luck on her “difficult journey.”

In what I hope is obvious, whatever the outcome the only thing that she’s proven is what happens to her body when she engages in rapid weight gain and then attempts to lose it.  This has actually nothing to do with the experience of fat people or the likelihood of weight loss success. Luckily we don’t have to rely on n=1 publicity stunts, because we have actual research on the efficacy of long-term weight loss.  While we know that there are some people who manage to lose weight and maintain it we also know that the successes are a tiny minority. And what happens if she isn’t able to lose the weight?  What does that tell us?

But at the end of the day her “experiment” is even more pointless than that.  Fat people have the right to exist in fat bodies without shame, stigma, bullying or oppression.  Even if we could be thin.  Also, we’re completely competent witnesses to our experience.  The thing  that I find so insidious is that this “experiment” is being reported all over the place. And the idea that there is any shred of validity to it is based on the idea that we can’t believe what fat people say about their experiences, so we need a thin person to “try out” being fat, and then we’ll consider their single, completely atypical, experience to be a credible report, more valid that the lived experience of thousands of fat people, and the results of actual research based on the Scientific Method and not the Unholy Bible of PR Stunts.

There are plenty of credible reports about what it is like to be an actual fat person, so those who are interested in our experiences don’t actually need Dr. Oz in a fat suit or Katie Hopkins eating 6,500 calories a day, they could just listen to us.

Like this blog? Consider supporting my work by becoming a member! For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you. I get paid for some of my speaking and writing (and do both on a sliding scale to keep it affordable), but a lot of the work I do (like answering hundreds of request for help and support every day) isn’t paid so member support makes it possible (THANK YOU to my members, I couldn’t do this without you and I really can’t tell you how much I appreciate your support!)   Click here for details

Book Me!  I give talks all across the country about self-esteem, body image, health and wellness for people of size and more, and I’d love to speak to your organization. (I’ll be in Northern New York and Central Pennsylvania in the next couple of months if you are in those areas and would like to add an event to those trips.) You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Here’s more cool stuff:

Buy my book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

Published in: on September 12, 2014 at 9:58 am  Comments (33)  

Paying for Our Own Oppression

Fat MoneyI was in an interesting conversation on Facebook where people were discussing whether or not, as Size Acceptance activists and/or Health at Every Size practitioners, they buy “diet’ products and why or why not. This is something I’ve thought about a lot.

There is a quote by Anna Lappe that says “Every time you spend money, you’re casting a vote for the kind of world you want.”  As an activist, that rings really true for me – the way that I spend my money is a form of activism.  I can spend money in a way that supports companies that support me, or I can fund companies that do something between ignoring and outright oppressing me.

First, to be clear I’m not talking about a boycott –  boycotts have absolutely proven to be effective tools in the right circumstances, and it’s true that if everyone stopped buying products that attempt to sell things to us by convincing us that we’re not good enough, they would stop doing it, but this is something different than that.  This is about making choices for how I  spend my money regardless of how anyone else spends theirs.  These decisions are rarely cut and dried, and they typically involve sacrifices. They are also personal decisions for each of us, and it’s not anybody’s job to tell us what to spend money on and our choices don’t make us better or worse than anyone else.  I’m not trying to tell anyone else how to live,  it’s just something I think is worth talking about, so I’ll confine the discussion to me.

A few years ago I made the decision to stop buying or consuming anything sold using a weight-loss or anti-obesity message.  It occurred to me that I spend a great deal of time trying to counteract these messages and that giving the people who create the messages money is a bit counter-intuitive.  So I decided to stop funding the very thing that I am trying to fight.  It has eliminated a lot of drink options, a lot of food options, there are stores where I don’t shop, and items that I don’t buy, but when I make the oatmeal from the brand that took me 10 minutes to find and cost $0.50 more, I feel good that I’m not paying for more oatmeal containers that try to terrify people into eating oatmeal in an effort to prevent them from looking like me.

Of course this leads to all kinds of judgement calls – I don’t want this to become a thing that overtakes my life but I do want my purchases to be in integrity with my beliefs.  Sometimes it is easy –  “Biggest Loser” branded carrots are right out, I’m not giving money to a show that abuses fat people for profit.  Then there are some others that are much more judgment calls – does Sweet and Low count? For me it’s easy to over think, and worry about being perfect and I have to remind myself that, just like the rest of civil rights, it’s not about perfection, it’s about making the next choice and doing the next thing in front of me.  Nobody can do everything but we can all do something, and this is one of the things that I try to do.

Like this blog? Consider supporting my work by becoming a member! For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you. I get paid for some of my speaking and writing (and do both on a sliding scale to keep it affordable), but a lot of the work I do (like answering hundreds of request for help and support every day) isn’t paid so member support makes it possible (THANK YOU to my members, I couldn’t do this without you and I really can’t tell you how much I appreciate your support!)   Click here for details

Book Me!  I give talks all across the country about self-esteem, body image, health and wellness for people of size and more, and I’d love to speak to your organization. (I’ll be in Northern New York and Central Pennsylvania in the next couple of months if you are in those areas and would like to add an event to those trips.) You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Here’s more cool stuff:

Buy my book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

Published in: on September 11, 2014 at 11:23 am  Comments (20)  

Using Haters Wisely

Haters Walk on WaterCivil rights change always happens against the vehement objects of those who cling to the old beliefs, typically for whatever it buys for them – privilege, a false sense of superiority reinforced by social contract, fear of change, there are plenty of reasons.  In fat civil rights that brings us fairly quickly to haters, a group of people who are so upset that there are fat people who won’t hate ourselves and spend our lives dieting and professing our inferiority, that they dedicate significant amounts of their own lives to obsessing about us and everything that we do.

In fat rights activism for the foreseeable future there will be sad people who spend their time spewing hate and bigotry trying desperately to feel ok about themselves by putting others down (and, based on the ridiculously overwrought death threats I receive, playing a lot of Call of Duty.) Each of us gets to deal with this in whatever way works for us.

For me, I think that while I can create safe, hater-free spaces, I can’t eradicate them.  So one of the options I choose is using them. This post was inspired by this e-mail exchange that happened over the last few days:

A friend of mine linked to your blog on FB.  I want to respectfully challenge your premise.  I just don’t think there’s a bunch of fat discrimination and hate out there that it’s worth having a movement to fight.

I e-mailed back, sending her this blog about oppression and for hate I sent her to a couple reddit fat hate groups as well as several specific threads about me, and my hatemail page.  Today I got this e-mail back:

Thanks for answering my e-mail.  I agree with some of the examples of oppression but I would need to do more research on others which, honestly, I’m not going to take the time to do right now. I can see what you’re saying though.  I checked out those forums and I have to tell you I’m seriously horrified.  Obviously these are some messed up people and I see your point that this level of hate couldn’t exist if discrimination or stigma against big people didn’t exist in society.  Anyway,  I made a donation through your hatemail page and I followed your blog.  I doubt I’ll agree with everything you have to say but I’m willing to listen.

My haters yammer on and I spend a lot of time laughing at their antics, but I definitely find ways to use them to my advantage.  When people can’t see the fatphobia that’s all around them, these groups help put it into extremely sharp relief and help people see why the work I and other fat activists do is necessary  And it’s not just me, there are a number of fat activists and fat activism projects that have received boosts in fundraising, media, and  visibility when they used their haters wisely.

So again, you shouldn’t have to deal with haters, and if you do then you get to choose how to deal with them.  Using them wisely is just one option, whatever option you choose is completely valid.

Like this blog? Consider supporting my work by becoming a member! For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you. I get paid for some of my speaking and writing (and do both on a sliding scale to keep it affordable), but a lot of the work I do (like answering hundreds of request for help and support every day) isn’t paid so member support makes it possible (THANK YOU to my members, I couldn’t do this without you and I really can’t tell you how much I appreciate your support!)   Click here for details

Book Me!  I give talks all across the country about self-esteem, body image, health and wellness for people of size and more, and I’d love to speak to your organization. (I’ll be in Northern New York and Central Pennsylvania in the next couple of months if you are in those areas and would like to add an event to those trips.) You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Here’s more cool stuff:

Buy my book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

 

Published in: on September 10, 2014 at 9:14 am  Comments (11)  

Not Up For Debate

Reality and PerceptionAs my regular readers are no doubt aware, I moderate my spaces – this blog, my Facebook page, the Facebook pages I manage etc.  This often angers the people who would like to use these spaces to forward their agenda of fat hatred and bigotry and/or call me unoriginal names.   Sometimes I get the ridiculous “You’re infringing on my freedom of speech” argument (newsflash to these Constitutional scholars –  the first amendment says “Congress shall make no laws…abridging the freedom of speech” it does not say “bloggers shall be required to post your bullshit comments”.)

The one that I want to talk about today is:

If you really believed in your cause you would allow open debate on your blog (or Facebook etc. )

In order to fight oppression, and have some respite from it, marginalized populations have every right to create spaces where their oppressors do not have a voice.   The insistence otherwise is about further oppressing people, as well as the shock of people who are laboring under the misapprehension that they should get to say whatever they want, anytime and anywhere they want, and are experiencing the rude awakening that there are spaces that aren’t for them to speak in.

Let’s also be clear that fat civil rights activism shouldn’t be necessary. The idea that our right to live in a fat body without being oppressed is debatable is a pretty clear indication of the problem.   The truth is that fat people have the right to exist in fat bodies without shaming, stigma, bullying or oppression regardless of why we are fat, what it means to be fat, or if we could become thin.  There are no other valid opinions about that.  Our rights to life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness and basic human respect should never be up for debate. At some point our society got confused and started to think that some people should have to debate for their civil rights with people who are already enjoying theirs. That’s complete and total bullshit.

The reason we have these spaces in the first place is that people are threatening and stealing our rights through an inappropriate use of power and privilege.  We are under no obligation to help them out.  That means that, while we may be forced to fight for rights that should already be ours, believing that we shouldn’t be oppressed does not mean that we have to allow our oppressors in our spaces to “debate” about whether or not we have the right to exist.

Like this blog? Consider supporting my work by becoming a member! For ten bucks a month you can support size diversity activism, help keep the blog ad free, and get deals from size positive businesses as a thank you. I get paid for some of my speaking and writing (and do both on a sliding scale to keep it affordable), but a lot of the work I do (like answering hundreds of request for help and support every day) isn’t paid so member support makes it possible (THANK YOU to my members, I couldn’t do this without you and I really can’t tell you how much I appreciate your support!)   Click here for details

Book Me!  I give talks all across the country about self-esteem, body image, health and wellness for people of size and more, and I’d love to speak to your organization. (I’ll be in Northern New York and Central Pennsylvania in the next couple of months if you are in those areas and would like to add an event to those trips.) You can get more information on topics, previous engagements and reviews here or just e-mail me at ragen at danceswithfat dot org!

Here’s more cool stuff:

Buy my book:  Fat:  The Owner’s Manual  The E-Book is Name Your Own Price! Click here for details

Dance Classes:  Buy the Dance Class DVDs or download individual classes – Every Body Dance Now! Click here for details 

If you are uncomfortable with my offering things for sale on this site, you are invited to check out this post.

Published in: on September 8, 2014 at 7:43 am  Comments (21)