I received yet another spam comment calling me a liar today (“5’4 and 280 pounds is not healthy and you’re just deluding yourself if you think it is. There is no way that you can work out the way you say you do and eat the way you say you do and still be that fat. You are not healthy and you need to get real, stop gorging yourself and get to the gym”) Luckily I don’t weigh 280, I weigh 284 so I assume that I’m good and this comment would only be true were I to weigh 280.
So I was pondering this. Specifically I was wondering how these people end up on my blog and why they bother to take the time to leave the comment. I’ve never felt the desire to seek out people who’ve made different choices than I have and tell them that I think they are wrong. Then I started to think about the number of people who have called me a liar when I’ve told them them what I do and they’ve seen what I weigh. It’s not just perfect strangers on the internet. I’ve been called a liar by doctors, nurses, nutritionists, family members, friends, dance teachers, dance judges, personal trainers and that’s just the people who said it to my face.
It occurred to me what a wonderful tool this is if your sense of superiority is dependent upon keeping the status quo. Just as a random hypothetical example, if you feel like you are better than fat people because you are thin and therefore it’s obvious that you have more self-control, more health, and you love yourself because you are thin, it might be really threatening if you found out that there are fat people who are also healthy and happy and love themselves. If you can call them liars – make them and others believe that they are not competent witnesses to their own experience and that you know better – then you can keep the status quo and your sense of superiority is not threatened.
Or maybe you’ve found that although you are thin, all of your life’s problems have not been solved. So you figure that if you can go and take a happy fatty down a peg or two at least you’ll feel better about yourself.
Or maybe you’ve lost weight (and you’re in the first 5 years, or you are part of the magical 5% who can keep it off long-term), and you are for some reason unable to grasp the concept that your experience is not everyone’s experience and so you feel the need to try to tell other people that they don’t have a right to their experience because they need to have yours.
No matter what your deal is, let me just say this: How fucking dare you call me a liar and try to tell me that I’m not a competent witness to my own experience. You can go to hell. Thank you. Your friend, Ragen.