When I gave up the opportunity to go to school for pre-law and decided to see if I wanted to be an orchestral clarinetist (the answer turned out to be no) my Mom didn’t even blink before supporting me. Contrast this sharply with my friend’s moms, some of whom had actually refused to pay for my friend’s school unless they studied something of which the parents approved. It happens reasonably often that parents have different dreams for their kids than the kids have for themselves.
The brilliant Virginia Sole-Smith from the Beauty Schooled Project sent me this article [trigger warning – weight loss talk] about a woman who was a very accomplished yogi who turned to a personal trainer to be thinner for her wedding. I started processing through all of my feelings about this article, basically a lot of the feelings that I have whenever someone I know chooses weight loss. I realized that what it boils down to, is that I have different dreams for these people than they have for themselves based on what I believe to be true. And while it’s fine for me to ponder that in my head, it’s not my place to tell them that their dreams for themselves are wrong.
And I think that this is what happens a lot when people feel the need to tell me that I should lose weight, that my path to health is wrong, that my life be easier if I were thin, or whatever. These people have different dreams for me than I have for myself because of what they believe. And it’s ok for them to believe whatever and have those different dreams for me, but I’m not ok with them to unburdening their dreams on me – they either need to get on board and support my dreams, or learn to live with [silent] disappointment.
It turns out that dreams are like underpants – you are the boss of your own and nobody else’s.
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