From my point of view, one of the most damaging things about the current slew of weight loss shows, diet books etc. is newly thin people trying on clothes, smiling into the camera and saying “I’m wearing single digits! I finally love myself after all these years!!!!”.
If someone chooses their life partner or friends based entirely upon how they look, we call them superficial. So why is it considered ok in our society to make our self-esteem contingent upon how we look?
I take a decent amount of flack for being a body positive fat person. For the bazillionth time today I got an e-mail from someone unable to understand my work that said: “I don’t think it’s a good thing for you to tell people it’s ok to be fat”. They said a lot of other really mean-spirited stuff, including calling me a fat bitch, but that was the gist of their argument.
Here’s the thing, I’m not interested in being in the business of telling other people what is or is not ok for their body. There are size 0 women who do not have an eating disorder and are sick of people assuming that they do, or hearing bitter fat women call them “skinny bitches”. There are healthy fat people who are sick of the death fat police telling them that if they don’t lose weight they are just going to keel over and die, or hearing insecure thin women call them “fat bitches”.
What I am trying to show people is that they have the option to love themselves in the body they have now, even if they feel that they want to change it.
If someone chooses to lose weight, or gain weight, I respect that (because, hey, it’s their decision and I want my decisions about my body and weight to be respected and supported and I don’t see how I can justify asking for something that I’m not willing to give). And while it’s their right, I do personally think it’s unfortunate when people make their self-esteem contingent upon that weight loss or gain.
There is the option of choosing to love yourself and appreciate your body for what it CAN do now. I know for me that was a much more stable platform from which to make other decisions about my health.
People might be able to afford to be completely superficial when choosing dates, but I think they might find that the price for superficial self-esteem is just too high.
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I wanted everyone to be able to afford Fat: The Owner’s Manual – Surviving a Thin-Obsessed World with your Health, Happiness, and Sense of Humor Intact so it is now available in soft cover and e-book which is “name your own price”
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This month’s member deals come from More of Me to Love, Jodee Rose, The Fat Nutritionist, Golda Poretsky, Jeanette DePatie and of course me. If you are a member and haven’t received the e-mail with details and passwords just let me know!
I do HAES and SA activism, speaking and writing full time, and I don’t believe in putting corporate ads on my blog and making my readers a commodity. So if you find value in my work, want to support it, and you can afford it, you can become a member (you get extra stuff, discounts, and you’re always the first to know about things) or you can support my work with a one-time contribution. The regular e-mail blog subscription (available at the top right hand side of this page) is still completely free. If you’re curious about this policy, you might want to check out this post. Thanks for reading! ~Ragen