“Warn a Friend They’re Fat Day” is a Real Thing

You Forgot Your BullshitI got a press release today telling me that self-described “weight loss expert” Steven Miller (in reality a lifestyle coach with a degree from the London College of Clinical Hypnosis) is proposing that today be “Warn a Friend They’re Fat Day” in the UK and, the press release assures me, he wants to bring it to the US as well. According to Steven it

is not about being cruel. In fact it is the complete opposite. It is about sensitively and tactfully talking to overweight friends and family members about our concerns for their health. In fact it is a day that could potentially save thousands of lives and at the same time heighten our friends and families confidence as they are encouraged to take action to lose weight so that they feel better and more confident about themselves.

And he goes on to list recommendations that thin people should give to their fat friends on how to lose weight (recommendations which every fat person has heard hundreds, if not thousands, if not tens of thousands of times.)  How is this completely and totally messed up?  Let me count the ways:

1.  Our health isn’t anybody else’s business unless WE make it their business. Other people’s health isn’t our business unless THEY make it our business.  It’s bad enough when we have to deal with concern trolling strangers, but concern trolling family and friends are a whole other thing, in large part because of the social pressure to compromise our boundaries because of their assumed good intentions.

2.  It rests on the ridiculous impression that thin people have some right and standing to confront fat people about “our health.”  Health is not an obligation, it’s not a barometer of worthiness, it’s never completely within our control or guaranteed under any circumstances.  There are people of all sizes at every point of the health continuum, for lots of different reasons. There are people of the same size who engage in very different behaviors, and people of very different sizes who engage in the exact same behaviors.

The fact that someone is thin does not imbue them with some special knowledge or right to give fat people unsolicited advice about our health or body size. The fact that someone is fat is not a signal that we require advice from thin people.    If Steve thinks that it does, then we need to stop the logic train because we had a passenger fall right the hell off. Fat people are not in need of a stern talking to from some self-righteous thin person.

This is just entirely inappropriate, and it would be inappropriate even if it wasn’t completely credibility shattering to suggest that fat people need someone to tell us that we’re fat.

3.  His assertion that this could “heighten our friends and families confidence as they are encouraged to take action to lose weight so that they feel better and more confident about themselves.” is a laughable justification for perpetuating widespread bullying.  Since when does having your friends confront you with wild, baseless, unsolicited judgments about your health create confidence?

Whether or not someone believes that weight loss is possible or will lead to better health, the suggestion that someone should base the way that they feel about themselves and their confidence on their body size is very seriously messed up. People don’t take care of things that they hate and that includes their bodies.  People who promote this kind of drivel are the true health threat.

4. It’s not based on any evidence.   Even if the evidence didn’t show that long term weight loss almost never works, there’s absolutely no evidence to suggest that “warning” your family and friends that they’re “fat” will make them any thinner or healthier (which are, by the way, two different things.)  In fact, based on the research that does exist, what Steve is suggesting may actually lead to weight gain That doesn’t factor into my objection to his idea, other than the fact that it’s deeply problematic that he is promoting an “intervention” that the research shows is likely to have the opposite of his intended effect.

We have got to stop acting like any weight loss idea promoted by a thin person is the the equivalent of a research-based health intervention that should be immediately implemented.  This leads to fat people being  subjected to experimental medicine without our consent and that is not ok. Public health should, at its best, be about making options and information accessible to the public, not about making the individual’s health the public’s business.  But at a bare minimum, it should take care not to subject members of the public to “interventions” that are in direct contradiction to the existing evidence.

I was going to try to get January 7th declared  “Warn your friends they are a size-prejudiced, body shaming, sheeple who need to start exercising some common sense” day, but Rivkie Baum, the editor of Slink magazine, had a much more productive idea.  She launched a counter campaign called called “Tell A Friend They’re Fab” and encouraging people to use #youarefab on social media.

Steve responded thusly:

Eat our own grave

Tweet saying “IGNORE the shockingly dangerous Fat Acceptance brigade. Their drive is to get you to eat your own grave. #FatIsNotFab

Let me be the first to say that if Steve was suggesting that we have a day against people eating their own graves I would be totally behind that.  There is lots of conflicting information about health, but I’m feeling pretty certain that eating that much dirt (not to mention the grave stone – ouch!) does not support good health. In reality, I think that this Tweet is likely a good representation of how much Steve actually understands about the Fat Acceptance Movement.

In the meantime, let me offer some possible responses if a friend or family member is inappropriate enough to take part in this:

I’m sure that your intentions are good and I appreciate that, but your actions are completely inappropriate – neither my weight nor my health are open for discussion.

You are out of line, I’m perfectly capable of making decisions about my own health, and if you’re not able to keep your concern to yourself I’m going to [choose a consequence that you can follow through with – leave the conversation, leave the room, end this relationship etc.]

If you think that Steven Miller is qualified to give health advice then you’re welcome to follow it, I think he’s a quack and bully and I’m done talking about this.

*Laugh out loud*  Wow, I’m sure that you’re embarrassed to have taken part in something so ridiculous, for your sake I’m willing to end the conversation and pretend this never happened.

If you’re thinking about “warning” me let me save you some time- I’m fat, and that’s fine.

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Published in: on January 8, 2015 at 6:30 am  Comments (60)  

60 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I’m absolutely baffled that that some think we haven’t noticed we’re fat. When I was thin I didn’t need anyone to tell me about it. WTF!

    • This is what constantly puzzles me! With the continual media hysteria, how can any person of size not KNOW they’re fat? Heck, we’re reminded of it often enough. Anyone who tries to surprise me with the newsflash that I’m fat is gonna get some of my opinions thrown right back at ’em, I promise.

  2. I don’t identify as a fat person but there are too many people surrounding me that would label me so. And it has gotten even worse right around now with New year resolution time, encouraging me to eat less or work out more. It still amazes me how conditioned we are to think “fat is not fab”, and to ignore the oppression that surrounds this hype. Then again, for people like Steve, this is big business. They can capitalize and gain from other people’s misery. So as long as people give in to this type of hype, and people still have it in their heads that being Skinny is healthy, Steve will be in business.

  3. Hey Regan–

    I’m guessing you’ve seen this recent study. Do you know enough about weight loss surgery to call bullshit on this one?

    http://www.m.webmd.com/diet/news/20150106/weight-loss-surgery-may-extend-lives-study-finds?page=4

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    • I wouldn’t take anything webmd says as true. They get funding from “questionable” sources, and they have failed me when searching for symptoms.

      Also note it says “may” extend lives, not that it actually does.

    • The webmd article is BS and very misleading. The original paper its talking about is not BS but very limited and shows that a sub group of obese people lived longer after 10 years. The problem is that the study can’t say why this sub group lived longer as compared to the control group: was it the surgery, was it the fact that these people were experiencing a greater degree of medical guidance? Were they better insured? Wealthier? Living in less stressful environments? Your guess is as good as mine.

  4. You might want to fix a typo where you talk about “The fact that someone is thin does not imbibe them with some special knowledge….”

    I believe the word you meant was ‘imbue’ rather than ‘imbibe’.

    Of course, considering how much Kook-Aid a person would have to drink to believe that, you may have chosen the right word, after all.

    TOPIC: the first person to take me aside for this heartfelt tete a tete is going to wind up taking a serious tongue lashing, and not the fun kind!

    • Hey Twistie!

      That’s what I get for rage typing. Thanks for letting me know🙂

      ~Ragen

  5. If I have any friends ignorant enough to take part in “Warn a Friend They’re Fat Day”, I’m going to have to take part in “Warn your Friend They’re About to be PUNCHED Day”. lol JK. I wouldn’t ACTUALLY punch anyone …but I might have to have one less fat-phobic rodent of a “friend” around.

    That is not ok. Since when does ANY fat person not know they are fat? Is there ANY fat person who lives in our culture that doesn’t already know they are fat? Please! This is about as useful as “Warn a Friend They’re Tall Day”.

    And assuming someone is unhealthy based simply on if they are fat or thin, that’s just gotten completely out of control and not even questioned anymore. It’s so scary and sad and it’s not only hurting fat people but thin people as well. Well, you’re thin? It’s ok, you don’t have to take care of your body. You’re thin? Why exercise? Moving your body is for fat people. You’re thin? Why eat vegetables or anything with vitamins in them, veggies and vitamins are for fat people. You eat nothing but potato chips and drink nothing but coke every day? It’s ok, that can’t hurt you, no way, you’re thin – so, HEALTHY! I’m so ready for a shit load of REALITY to descend on the minds of this brainwashed, fat-phobic world we live in. …Any day now.

    • Right, we all know we’re fat because we got bullied in school, mistreated by doctors, abused by our parents, and passed over for jobs. Kinda hard to miss.

  6. Sigh… How long until this New Year’s resolution season blows over? The shills seem to get more brazen every year. I mean it’s never great, but since becoming more aware of these issues I’ve noticed early January is a particularly miserable period. Thanks for the heads up on this one.

    • That’s more than enough to drive anyone batty. I’ve found over the years that the VAST majority of those negative messages are coming from commercials. So I don’t watch “regular” tv anymore (tv with commercials) – I stick to Netflix and Roku. It’s definitely saved a ton of sanity points. I can really feel the change – it’s made a huge difference in my self esteem and my happiness. I had no idea how much of a difference it would make just cutting out commercials from my life makes – but Wow! Amazing how different I’ve felt. Commercials in this culture are truly toxic.

      • I last had tv in my house in 2002 and since then haven’t watched it at all except when I’m staying in a hotel (not even Netflix and this is the first time I’ve even heard of Roku! — I’m pretty much out of it when it comes to technology). What amazes and horrifies me, when I’m staying in a hotel and do watch some tv, is how much body-shaming and fat-hatred there is all over television. I know for absolute certain that I would have a much, much harder time combating feelings of self-loathing if I watched tv regularly.

        • >What amazes and horrifies me, when I’m staying in a hotel and do watch some tv, is how much body-shaming and fat-hatred there is all over television. I know for absolute certain that I would have a much, much harder time combating feelings of self-loathing if I watched tv regularly.

          Yeah, I think anyone wanting to fix the self-esteem issues that is often thrust upon bigger people in our society, they will have a much faster and easier time of it by just cutting out commercials from their lives. That makes a big difference, at least for me.

          Oh and Roku is great! I definitely recommend it. It’s nice to be able to enjoy tv without the totally brainwashy bs that gets forced down our throats via commercials. It’s done wonders for my self esteem without that nastiness in my life. Plus, since I’m usually a night owl, it’s nice to be able to find stuff to watch in the wee hours of the morning.🙂

  7. No friend would say that as they would know the other person is aware of their weight issues and “tell a friend they are fat day” is just promoting fat shaming.
    A fat person is as worthy and valuable as a thin person!

    • Amen!

  8. I saw this in the UK press, and was absolutely sickened by the comments to the Daily Fail coverage – pretty much 100% SUPPORTING the idea that people are fat because they overeat, end of story, no arguments… anyone daring to challenge this as a really cruel, stupid and pointless idea was howled down with derision. Appalling stuff.

  9. So fat folks don’t feel so good and aren’t confident about themselves? Make assumptions much, fella? Clearly he has no clue here what he is talking about. And this action would “Potentially save thousands of lives”? Oh, bite me!

    If that schmuck thinks his “Warn a Friend They’re Fat Day” is such a great idea, then I propose an equally moronic idea: “Warn a Friend They’re Stupid Day”. After all, it’s all about helping others “feel better and more confident about themselves” – right? ** face palm! **

    And what is “Warn a Friend They’re Stupid Day” you ask? Well, in Mr. Miller’s words:

    (It) is not about being cruel. In fact it is the complete opposite. It is about sensitively and tactfully talking to imbecilic friends and dim-witted family members about our concerns for their obvious and complete lack of intelligence. In fact it is a day that could potentially save thousands of lives and at the same time heighten our friends and families confidence as they are encouraged to take action to educate themselves beyond the level of a fifth grader so that they can think better and feel more confident about themselves.

    Sheesh.

    • ^
      LIKE!

      • Yes!

    • I love this.

  10. I don’t know… I’m thinking maybe “Warn a Friend They’re Fat Day” could work out. But only if it’s planned in conjunction with some combination of “Warn a Friend They’re an Intrusive, Overstepping Jackass Day”, “Warn a Friend They’re About to Be on the Pointy End of My Sarcasm Day”, and “Warn Steve Miller Someone Is Likely to Punch Him in the Throat Day”.

    Interestingly, the most recent post on Steve’s idiotic FB page says, “If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astonish ourselves.” I wonder if he would be “literally astonished” by his capacity for minding his own business if he ever tried it.

    (And yes, I hate myself for giving him the page view. Bunch of “emotional eating” crap that makes me want to vomit. You know what, Steve? I am, in fact eating to “fill a gap in [my] life”. I mean sure, it’s the gap between nutrition and starvation, the gap between normal blood sugar and low blood sugar, but maybe I ought to reconsider those goals, huh? Jerk.)

    • I never could understand the whole emotional eating thing. To me, to eat based on emotion is a birthday party, or wedding, or even a funeral. That is all I can think of.

      • I’ve come to think of it as code for “you’re fat because you’re emotionally damaged” or the even-less kind “fat people are mentally ill or they’d just lose weight”. Drives me nuts; I’m not “eating my emotions”. I’m eating my lean protein, and my veggies, and the occasional piece of damn pie, yes, but the last I heard, eating isn’t optional, no matter what mood I’m in.

        Or even worse, the assumption you’ve suffered some kind of sexual abuse and because of the trauma you “don’t want to be attractive”. Which, frankly, really pisses me off, because exactly who the hell is anyone to tell me I’m not attractive in the first place? I’m sure I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but then again, who is?

        • I did become fat because I was instinctively attempting to medicate undiagnosed depression and PTSD with a carb high.

          And guess what? I figured it out pretty damn quickly.

          And also guess what? Doctors assumed that I must not have noticed that I had to buy bigger pants than most people I knew.

          And furthermore guess what? I’m just fat. Not mentally ill (that much, anymore), not attempting to hide, not stupid, not lazy, not ignorant. Just fat.

          And at the fittest and most vigorous I have ever been…I was still fat.

          Stories like this make me wonder how many stupid people there are in the world. How do they think we haven’t noticed (a) that we are big and (b) that our well being is not directly proportional (heh) to our size?

          • It’s pretty weird what doctors think. They must believe that they are the keepers to the keys of salvation and that everyone else is just too stupid to figure it out on their own. Ergo, we need doctors to point us in teh right direction.

        • Everybody thinks they can apply Freud to every situation. The whole “sexual trauma” thing reeks of it. Why is that the “go-to” response/idea of the critics?

  11. Too late we came up with the idea of wearing t-shirt for “Warn a friend you’re fat day”. WARNING: I’M FAT!

    • I’d wear that!

    • I would wear that too. I would also use the phrase as a hashtag #WarningImFat

  12. Steve ought to be made to read the protocols and procedures I just had to read and sign an acknowledgement in regards to the prescribing and dispensing of Qsymia, a weight loss drug. I work for one of the big retail pharmacy chains. What I just read about Qsymia is truly frightening. They know its frightening and dangerous too! Doctors, pharmacies, and patients have to go through all kinds of steps for a person to receive Qsymia. Might as well take Thalidomide! And idiots like Steve think being fat is scary and dangerous………..

    • Being Steve is no doubt scary and dangerous too. At least it should be.

      Just sayin’.

      Yeah, those side effects get ya every time. It kills me what the FDA allows (like Qsymia) in the name of thinness. Yet the very same FDA will no longer allow Trader Joe’s to post labels on their shelves marking which products are gluten free, or low fat or what have you. The shelf label won’t kill ya (cuz one can always read the package label for oneself) but drug side effects very well could (can’t “untake” a med once consumed). Feeling so much safer now-not!

      • What? They’re disallowing food labelling?

        • Not exactly. FDA won’t let Trader Joe’s put a label on their shelves that calls attention to a product that contains no gluten unless they have actually lab-tested the product and found it to be in line with the FDA definition of gluten-free (less than 20 ppm gluten). They can’t even call attention to products that consisting of no gluten-containing ingredients.

          While there are those who are super sensitive to gluten (and require their foods to meet the FDA definition of gluten-free), there are others who simply wish a product to have no gluten-containing ingredients. It is the consumer’s responsibility to read all package labels regardless of what a shelf label claims to determine what level of gluten they wish to consume. That’s only common sense.

          The FDA notice: http://www.fda.gov/ForConsumers/ConsumerUpdates/ucm363069.htm

      • With Qsymia its more than just side effects. Every drug has side effects. But Qsymia is so dangerous, doctors, pharmacies, and patients have to be registered to be allowed to prescribe dispense or take it. Pharmacy has to fill out forms EVERY SINGLE TIME we dispense Qsymia or we can’t sell it. Not registered, u can’t take Qsymia. If a female does take Qsymia she has to have a pregnancy test every month. That’s how harmful it can be to a fetus. There are VERY few other drugs with similar restrictions. Only one regularly used is Accutane and its generics.

        y

        • That is super freaky. It’s a class X drug!

  13. How about “Warn the world against quacks” Day? Thinking of you, Steve…

  14. Not to mention the possibility of putting your friend into drepession by your “concern” . Because that’s going to be productive to their health

  15. I saw this on your feed yesterday. And that allowed me to time to come up with my response, which isn’t nearly as nice as some of the others.

    “OH MY GOD! I’m FAT?! I’ve spent years wondering why I couldn’t find clothing that fit me and why people laughed at me in the gym and my doctor kept trying to get me to diet. Man. This all explains so much. I had no idea. Why didn’t you tell me sooner because while I might have missed that fat part, thank God it’s not that I’m rude and intrusive.”

    • Yeah! Gee, thanks so much for pointing that out – I had no damned clue I was fat. I guess I missed all the obvious bullshit my family, so called friends, teachers, and the whole of society has thrown on me simply because of my body size.

      I must have missed the clues when my step dad put me on a plain baked potato and water only diet when I was 8. Or when I got excited that my step sister wanted to talk to me (she never talked to me) only to sit me down just to tell me “a girl your age shouldn’t be as big as you are”. Or the kids in elementary school chanting “fatty fatty two by four, can’t fit through the kitchen door” when I entered the class room. Or the glue they put in my hair, or the bugs they put in my hair, or my books they threw in the toilet, or pushing me down the stairs, or gathering around me on the play ground throwing rocks at me – all while calling me “fatty”, “fat-so”, “elephant”, “lardo”, etc.

      I guess I also missed the countless time I was told from age 10 until my late 20s how I have such a “pretty face, if only [I’d] lose weight”. I guess I missed the clues when several boys throughout my school years told me secretly that they really liked me and wanted to be my boyfriend but where too afraid of what their friends and family would say, that they want to ask me out but their friends “wouldn’t understand”.

      I guess I must have had hearing loss the times when I was walking along only to have guys in cars yell out their windows at me “hey fatso” “lardass” and my favorite “Go eat a cupcake, fatty” (particularly since I had just got finished with a five mile hike, and at the time it had been over two years since I had eaten a cupcake). Or leaving a restaurant and have a guy say to his buddy while pointing at me “Uck I hope she left some for US”. Or the times I’ve been interviewed via phone and have the interviewer positive about hiring me, only to be told as soon as they see me in person that I’m not “quite what we are looking for”. Or the countless millions of ways throughout my life that people and our society has made me FULLY and UNQUESTIONABLY aware of the fact that I Am Fat.

      Yep, all I needed was some jackass to invent a day when people are supposed to go out of their way (as if they don’t already) to let me know that I’m fat.

      • You’ve had a terrible life. I feel so sad for you.

  16. (Note: I describe dinner below. Skip that part if descriptors aren’t your thing. Thanks.)

    Hey, I’ve read all those articles in reputable [snerk!] newspapers about how some fat woman became a slender beauty queen all because others bravely helped her [snicker] through the magic of constant public shaming. C’mon, People! Obviously if it appeared in some newspaper somewhere it’s gotta’ be a strategy that will work universally!! What are ya’: Chicken?!

    Oh, that reminds me that I have one possible extra response to add to Ragen’s list. I might try nodding my head obediently through the person’s spiel, then invite them over for dinner tonight. If I have my way, this dinner will feature: a delicious roast chicken (skin-on, thankyouverymuch) and pan-basted veggies, plus salad with ranch dressing, and some ice cream with fudge topping. Maybe a glass of wine if I have room. It would be fun to post a big picture of this, then add some witty macro along the lines of, “Sorry, I can’t hear you. I’m too busy not being a total dink.” Okay, it needs a little work, but…

  17. Hi Ragen, I was wondering your take on the research article ‘Fat but Fit’ Only Temporary? http://www.medpagetoday.com/Cardiology/Prevention/49395

    • LOL That article is a joke. Really. It’s not even close to evidence based, blatantly fatphobic, and filled with “everyone knows”. The quote that sums in up should clue you in “I’d tell a ‘healthy obese’ person to, at the very least, focus on having a healthy lifestyle, looking at ways to have a better eating style and absolutely, positively, look for becoming more physically active…” – making the erroneous assumption that just because someone is “obese” that they don’t have a focus on a healthy lifestyle, that they aren’t eating healthy, that they aren’t already quite physically active. It’s really a gross read full of assumptions and bigotry and on that light, not even worth Ragen taking the time to write about as it’s nothing that has been written in the same bigoted tones a thousand times before.

      • Oops, typo. That should read:

        “as it’s nothing that *hasn’t* been written, in the same bigoted, tones a thousand times before”.

    • I’m not Ragen, and I’m not a doctor, but according to the coverage I can find, both in this UK study and a larger Canadian one much like it, “fitness” was defined in a fat person as enough metabolic markers in the normal range. Nutrition, exercise, family history, and the things mainstream culture associate wtih fitness were not taken into account, *just* the metabolic markers.

      So the way I understand it, this isn’t a study where they monitored fat people at the gym and the whole foods store and found definitive proof that diet and exercise won’t lower your risks if you aren’t or can’t get and stay thin. It’s a sampling fat people with varying habits, some of whom started out metabolically healthy but later developed problems, and it makes no attempt to investigate whether diet and exercise had any effect on *which* ones. It doesn’t disprove “fat and fit.” It proves that a fat person who has good metabolic markers when they’re young might develop health problems as they age.

      There’s a more in-depth review of the similar Canadian study at Fierce, Freethinking Fatties in the “digging deeper” section of this link (there are trigger warnings but the article itself lists them at the top):

      http://fiercefatties.com/2013/12/05/fair-and-balanced/#more-13108

    • I hate that article. The title doesn’t fit because the study isn’t saying anything about fitness but “metabolically healthy”, which is not the same as “fit” which refers to fitness. It also looks only at obese individuals from what I’ve seen of the coverage of the study, which means there is no comparison to see if metabolic health declines more, the same, or less in obese individuals over time than those categorized as “overweight”, “normal”, or “underweight”.
      I haven’t bothered to look up the actual study methods and results but from the news coverage there is no mention of controlling for things like activity levels which is important and other research has indicated is a better indicator of health than bmi. If they don’t control for that, we can’t say if declining “metabolic health” isn’t due to declining physical activity over time. And without a comparison to those who aren’t obese, there is no way to say if this has anything to do with obesity and is not actually just standard with aging.

      • Not to mention the slender elephant that’s always sitting in the middle of this particular living room: if there *is* a difference in the mortality rates between fat and thin people, how much of that difference can be attributed to poor medical care and yo-yo dieting? We *know* yo-yo dieting is correlated with a lot of the same problems as “obesity.” We *know* fat people succumb to curable diseases and develop preventable ones because they’re misdiagnosed as the closest correlated-to-obesity ailment, leaving the real problem untreated until it reaches critical mass. The question these doctors should be asking themselves is, do those things happen frequently enough to have an impact on the results they’re getting?

        But they don’t ask that question. They *never* ask that question. They aren’t looking for the truth, they’re looking for ammunition.

        • Thanks for this comment. I agree that doctors are asking the wrong questions. I think it is part of confirmation bias, and not looking outside the box.

  18. I swear if someone tried this on me I would laugh right in their face, loudly and probably with a little spittle behind it. Concern trolling has seriously gotten out of hand.

  19. I just can’t think of enough expletives to express how WRONG this is. Ragen, you are an encourager, not a destructor like this freak Steve. I want a t-shirt that says “I’m fat” or one with that name you use, Fatty Mcfatfat, or whatever it is. Keep the faith, dear.

  20. Why don’t we just call it “Being an asshole” day? Because I would love a “Call out an asshole” day personally.

  21. A friend of mine came up with a solution to avoid saying things that are offensive by simply substituting ‘black’ for any adjective.

    For example:

    ‘How long have you been disabled?’

    becomes

    ‘How long have you been black?’

    so

    ‘Warn a friend they are fat.’

    becomes

    ‘Warn a friend they are black.’

    Of course, following Steve’s logic, you could then proceed to advise said person how to safely live while being black, because clearly they would have no actual idea, since they didn’t realize they were black until someone told them.

    Hmmm…. How much would it cost to film Steve giving a black person advice about being a black person?

    • “How much would it cost to film Steve giving a black person advice about being a black person?”

      Does that include his medical bills?

      Bwahahaha!

    • I’d love to see that!!! Hahahahaha

    • I should also note, that I have already tried these tactics (in my own head) and call it the Substitution Rule: if it still holds water after the substitution, then it makes sense, otherwise it’s phoney.

      So we could try: Warn a friend they are gay. Warn a friend they are Jewish. Warn a friend they are Buddhist.

      None of these make any sense, so the original phrase is bunkum.

  22. If being thin means that I would look as smug and disapproving as Miller does in that HuffpoUK picture, I’ll pass, thanks.

    Left a comment:

    “I don’t know whether Mr. Miller has any fat friends. I suspect if he did, he would have known that the job of “telling fat people that they’re fat” has been amply filled (see what I did there?) by diet companies, fitness companies, bariatric surgeons, drug companies, government agencies whose access was purchased by the above companies, and friends and family who already have no respect for a fat person’s personal boundaries.

    If you care more about what my body looks like than you do about my wish for privacy, you are not my friend and therefore have even less business telling me what I already know.

    #WarningImFat”

  23. Steve’s post implies the fat acceptance movement wants to turn thin people into fat people. I wonder if he also thinks gay rights movement wants to turn straight people into gay people? Was the civil rights movement an attempt to turn white people into black people?

    • Kat, some folks do think the LGBT community wants to ‘turn’ people. I’m sure there are folks out there who don’t want white people to act too black either. I’ve heard of rock and roll and jazz described as ‘that black music’ and there have been plenty of people flipped out over hip hop and rap (not sure how much is language/imagery and how much is that it is black).

      There is always a group of people who don’t want to become ‘them’, whoever ‘they’ are and get upset when ‘they’ encroach on the lives of ‘right-thinking’ people.

  24. I once had a friend tell me that she was concerned i was going to have a heart attack and die because i was so big.

    The same friend, when i pointed out i had actually lost 2.5 stone (35lb) in the previous 3 months, responded with “well you can’t tell, to be honest.”

    After that i told her it was none of her business anyway and to shut up about it.


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